Fart harder! The ultimate sign of receiving God.

My Flying Spaghetti Monster video. This is just a preliminary test to see if I enjoy Live Video vs YouTube. I'm pretty skeptical about any video service that'll feature VioletKitty though.

This preacher either needs to go get checked or needs to lay off this fried food.

smell the heaven

a farting preacher

http://www.JesusCheeto.com | Religious scam, scandal, Jesus sightings, Jesus Cheeto, Joel Osteen billionaire, mega churches, megachurch billions, preacher scam, sex scandal, God sighting, religion

A Brighter Light
To the earth came a Word
which through the illumination
...of holy sparks,
purposed awareness.
Gather around ye children of naivety
for the listening
...of my sayings.
No doubt through a persistent   more...heart
a happy man offers
significance, patience and promises
...fulfilled.
A prince well to do,
has nothing to gain by volume
since duty is immeasurable
...and riches inherited.
Yet, indeed through repentance
a poor man is satisfied.
Invoke the Name saying.
"Make haste Lord,
for the cattle are bound by the feet
...and await sacrifice!"
An unholy slaughter.
No reverence nor grace
be given in Thy presence,
for the wile of the evil one
...rule this vision;
and his ministry is lighted
and shines bright as to mislead
into false security.
For no priest of the order,
no servant of the faith,
nor bearer of the truth
wields a sword against his brother.
Likened to the cross which stands
as an icon of the faithful
...fold,
it blades them not into
the blood of the Lamb,
but into that of those slaughtered.
For they who did not take shelter
in the great Paradise,
corrupt they became by
their own means and devilish ways;
and they were a witness
in the judgement of the age
...as a trustee.
Words issuing forth from the furnace
of his mouth,
melting the iron of men's hearts,
that generation after generation follow
in disorder;
blinded by the darkness and the light...
for the light that shines with hope
misleads by way of confused monotony.
Darkness yielding excuses,
and lighted candles illuminate
the wrong path.
Trust not friend nor enemy.
Guard not with strong arm nor with weapons...
be not weary nor alert
for only the faithful can meet
...fearless
in these perverse days!
Submit not, obey not, be subjected not
to the inferior
who speak of peace but yet
peace is not within them.
Keep ye your houses from
the wickedness of the beasts
who revile the Lord's inheritance
and would occasion to destroy
with false hopes of tomorrow
which brings not a rest
unto the heart of mankind.
Anoint thee, you children with oil,
and exact no desire from food or drink;
for the oil is the sustenance
and faith quenches the soul's
thirst for a blessing.
The ground although level,
opens up to swallow your steps;
shaking, breaking, taking
from you that which it craves most
...for its treasure.
For heaven lies not in the earth,
nor does hell stand between
...redemption and damnation.
It is merely this most material realm
which rumbles immeasurable thunder;
with insatiable desires
and mouthing of unholy words
...to preclude
an entitlement to the incarnated beings.
Oh guardians of the earth,
take flight against the dragon
and repel its influences from
...the weak minded;
for the adversary has become
a trusted friend to many,
and the face of man is
fashioned and likened to a beast
feasting on a sumptuous buffet
...of peace;
not in understanding,
but in presumption.
So therefore,
as I write these sayings
only to explain that which
the light has distorted;
within the depths of the invisible,
rose the visible
through the belly of a fearful angel,
and darkness fell
...into the abyss
causing an eternal yoke to be borne
onto the shoulders of all mankind;
For to rise up in this light,
one must be scorched for a season,
and evolve into salvation.
For by the markings of his claws,
the glowing of this light
dims the eyes,
dulls the senses,
and adds murk to the soul.
Be fearful of the sayings
of priests, ministers and elders
you brothers and sisters of this light;
for deception has set in
...for a millennium
and can not depart us in a day!
Poem: wriiten by ANDROID aka cloudclimber; ultimately Andrew Perretti
Category: Entertainment  less

What form does idolatry take in the Christian church? How can you identify whether or not idolatry has crept into your congregation? And if you, as a pastor or as a member, see this sin in your congregation,   more...what steps does the Bible require you to take in repentance?

_____________________________

This teaching was a part of the WebAThon 2008 web event.  less

aa 30 minute worship service

religion prayer fasting praise worship gospel dance pastor preacher teacher apostle rock the rock of gainesville rock of panama rock church pope john paul catholic mass

religion prayer fasting praise worship gospel dance pastor preacher teacher apostle rock the rockreligion prayer fasting praise worship gospel dance pastor preacher teacher apostle rock the rock

THIS IS FUNNY

RICH RAMSEY TV. MISS ANGEL DIAMOND COVERS SON OF A PREACHER MAN FOR THE TOURISTS AT THE HOLLYWOOD KODAK THEATRE DURING THE HOLIDAY SEASON.
INTRO MUSIC-- CHRISTOF RYJIN -
OUTRO MUSIC-- RICH RAMSEY -
U NEVER   more...DIE ENTERTAINMENT -
HOLLYWOOD MANN THEATRE -
KODAK THEATRE -
HOLLYWOOD CHARACTERS -
SOUPERMAN SHOW  less

Crazy Church in Korea

Sermon: Rev. Leon Taylor, Jackson TN. HGM

A Preacher gets the farts in Church.

This is a great video of Mormon Missionaries taking on a preacher from Georgia. They are all fools in my opinion, but the Georgia Preacher definitely dismantles the Mormon missionaries rather easily.   more...

This is what happens when you send little 19 year old, sheltered Mormons into the real world, completely unprepared and uneducated. All they can say, is "we represent Jesus Christ, the church is true and Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and the truth was restored because no one believed in Jesus any longer and they crucified him."

Now, you get much beyond that little box and they are completely lost and clueless. Some people took issue with the black preacher referring to them as "white boys" at the end, but hey; if I was a black man, knowing that Mormonism teaches I am the "seed of Cain" and "Satan's representative on earth", and two "white boys" came up to me and wanted to set me straight on God and Jesus....I'd probably say much worse than he did and I have no problem with that. I'm a "white boy" and I was not offended in the slightest by his comments.

The Mormon church is a very racist organization and like I said, these missionaries got off easy, as this man could have unloaded on them with the racist history and teachings of Mormonism, which would have all been true.

The preacher man was right that they actually believe in Joseph Smith and his Jesus and Gordon B. Hinckley, current Prophet of the Mormon cult openly admits that they proudly don't believe in the Biblical Jesus of Christianity.

On the other hand, the preacher guy was no better than they were, in the sense that he too, just like them, is deluded and brainwashed and believes that HE has the "one and only truth."

In other words, they both believe they are "the only ones with truth" and they are all completely full of SHIT and equally arrogant. For me, it's just good fun to see three arrogant, clueless people going at it.

Also, before you TBMS feel too bad for these poor little missionaries; realize that the camera was rolling in plain site when they rode up on their bikes, they could see it and they still arrogantly proceeded, because they truly believe that they alone, along with all the other missionaries, truly represent the correct Jesus Christ and God and are the only ones on the planet with the truth. (more)  less

Funny Celeb Gossip Show!! No one is safe...lol

With The Farting Preacher

Deep Purple - Hallelujah (I Am The Preacher) ( Live Beat Club 1969)

just a follow up

It's amazing to think that this guy was a Baptist preacher before he found the light and converted to stand-up comedy.

While trying to save money, a student has an encounter of the third kind with an alien and a preacher!

Let he who has never expelled gas cast the first stone.