Brady has been really great to try to help Curt get over his phone sex addiction. She's a really great friend...

xo,
Leah

What works for me to keep pain at bay.

"On the way there..."

As I ponder the mental-health issues of manic-vloggin', I realize the lure of it- that what some of us are doing is re-telling ourselves...we're MYTH-making. We're re-creating   more...ourselves and shaping our own mythologies. We do it as a species and we do it as individuals to find meaning and purpose. Oooh...epiphany...  less

"On the way back..."

It's established that I'm sick in the head, but it's all for the sake of art and self-actualization

MATTER is what matter - Physical ACTION

To sit on knowledge will have no impact

To speak beautiful words will not transform the worlds

For Change to happen

Man has to stop in All Ways

As Who he is

As Who he   more...has become

Tranform his nature

which is self- interest

in form of abuse

to be able to fuse

with Life Equal and One

To stand as True Man

How to stand as True Man?

Self-Forgiveness and Self-Honesty

To for the first time

Stop myself and set a line

And as I forgive myself

for what i have done

To myself as all Life equal and one

I will see the ban

that I spoke to myself

in form of a spell

that caused me to be traped

in a belief that I have to reach and connect with God

And live my Life for a purpose and reason

Throughout All Season

In the hope to find God and connect with him

So that he forgive my sin

Why do i not realize

that i am Here

but exist in constant fear ?

Why do I want to leave this world?

To reach the heavens?

And be in Gods Kingdom?

And leave All behind that is of Physical Matter

That caused my Life on Earth to shatter

Why do I not see

that I am the cause of this Brutal Sea

that is called 'Life on Earth' ?

Why do I not hear myself

but bear with me the burden of Self

that I carry around for eaons of time

Is it because I have set no line?

To my existece

as the 'Who I am' ?

But exist as the same Self

over and over again

The same experiences

from one life to another

never reaching the end

no matter how i try to mend

Is it because I search for Self

somewhere there in a God ?

I am tired of this walk..

I am tired of this talk..

I speak and speak...

But never reach the peak..

I do not want anymore..

I am tired of this Search..

I stop..

Then i see..

Hey !

I am Here !

I was Always Here !

But I missed myself through the search of me

in another to be

Man !

I was so blind !

To believe I can find

Myself

In a God

Seperate from Me

I never saw me

I never heared me

Ringing the bell

Saying

'Hello I am HERE !'

Now I see

Why I am Here

In this Life

I have tried so often to exist this world

In each Life

over and over again

To leave this hell of a place

For heaven to face

And experience a form of grace

And leave and forgett the Physical World on Earth

For ever more

to never again get so sore

This was my Demise !

In trying to flee from The Matter

that causes all to shatter

Now i see why

And i see that heaven is not the place

where I am 'supposed' to go

I will never leave this place

This Existence on the EARTH

Where I return each time I want to leave

Because it is my BIRTH

where I will WILL myself

To live without a reason

In EVERY SEASON

in to eternety

To once and for ALL

End the Spell

that caused us to be

a slave to fee

in form of Money and Energy

Now I see 'Who I am'

And i see what I need to do


To be HERE in the MATTER

and END ALL SHATTER

Because untill I do this

I will never be Free


And I now see that Heaven is not my place

It is Here

Where I am Now

On the Earth

This is my place

Where I - myself will face

What I have done

And deceide whether I will stop

And on the Earth

Birth myself

as Life

As All Equal and One

or

Whether I will not

and cause myself another spell

Where I will be trapped

not seeing

not hearing

not knowing

Who i am

Where i am

Why I am

Here i see that my 'chance'

to destroy the fence

that I build around me

trapping me in a MIND-See

Where I see through the MIND

In believe I have soemthing to find

As I stop this

I see DIRECT

I see What is HERE

And ALL I can see...

Is FEAR..

In FEAR I have spited all Life

In FEAR I have been abusing all Life

In FEAR I have not stood up   less

LVFT LIVEVIDEO FRUSTRATION THERAPY XFIRE1PROD STYLE... A THANK YOU FROM MY DUMB HEART

YESSS THE OZAI'S ANGELS SERIES I OVER I CAN DO SOMETHING ELSE NOW.

This isn't my best video, but I worked hard on it, mmkay? I kinda sorta stole the idea from KataangIsEverBetter, but hers was an Azulaang   more...video and mine was... an Ozai's Angels vid. Yeah.

So.

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar or this song.  less

OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN

Just what Zuko and Katara need!

So this is the long awaited Zutara video I promised everyone ages ago! Got a chance to load it up! YAY! The song is from a off-broadway play called "Tick Tick...Boom!".   more...It's written by Jonathan Larson, who wrote "Rent". Awesome music check it out!

Video was made about 2 months ago, and there are a few glitches.

Oh and by the way, if anyone actually cares, I might not make a video for "The Avatar and The Firelord" as I can't think of anything good. And I have not seen the UK episodes yet, I do not want to watch them, I do not want to know spoilers! I am watching the episodes as the come out on the US nick.  less

Kitty loves doggy

A video not meant for LiveVideo but I decided to see what dust it can whip up...oh my god, she's psychotic! If you say so...because the evolved is the elite.

Having some thoughts on beauty

dumb sayings

Another disconnected vlog! Whoo Hoo!

Amazing Equine Rehab & Conditioning Facility. They have everything!

The great classic from the sexy Olivia, especially in short shorts.

Here's a video from the Star-Banner. This place is cool.

The Spectacular Spiderman episode 11 Group Therapy Full episode

The Spectacular Spiderman episode 11 Group Therapy part 3

The Spectacular Spiderman episode 11 Group Therapy part 2

The Spectacular Spiderman episode 11 Group Therapy part 1

One group of people who should definitely NOT be in therapy together.

retard test.. i donno i still feel wiered every time i try to be my self on the cam i turn out to be a retard.. hehe

Talking about my social anxiety and therapy.