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excersize

officer kelley,
I believed in you BEFORE your lies, during your lies and after your lies.. I believed you were a good cop... I know you think you were being mean to me or teasing me when you would whisper   more...to me.. the things you and the boys were doing to me.. I thought that at first as well.. but maybe your subconscious knew in telling me... I would become "more aware" so the torment would end sooner.. maybe you whispered.. because.. you did not want them to hear you were trying to tell me... what was going on ..
i know i was "watchable" I was doing outrageous things.. maybe even the best person would have watched 2... i was doing reckless things and putting myself in danger, engaging in high risk behaviors.. because I wanted to die and I acted like it.. i wanted to be with Danny.. and that is all i could feel and see.. and be.. granted I got worse when the torment started.. and continued.. and you and the boys went to far and the boys are still doing things to me..
I'm lucky I lived through my reckless time after Danny's death.. I was doing wrong things that maybe was also warranted to be watched by the police or i knew alot of things people were doing that was against the law.. which sort-of makes me no better then you for not saying anything or letting things go on because you are under pressure of your friends.. so I know what that is like 2..
maybe your whispers saved my life... and I wanted to thank you even if you went about it in a way i don't understand it seems I don't understand any boys anyway.. In case there was any chance you were trying to help me but could not do it directly..
I did believe you were bad but i also know you were sorry and i don't think you would do mean things like that again or let it happen to another girl.. I think you got swept up in the moment .. (god knows that has happened to me 2)
anyways officer kelley, I want to say I'm sorry for my part .. and I want you to know I forgive you... and I hope you forgive me one day 2 ;-)

I'm sorry it took me so long to see you any any light but dark... I know you have light in you... and it must have been hard for you that i saw the light in other people before you because the truth is.. I think you are a better person then most...

anyways I'm not mad anymore.. and i keep you in my heart as a person who is lighter then darker..

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