Part 2
wherein I do a little fieldwork at the bookstore in search of the source of my angst and a way to break past patterns where I kicked opportunity to the sidewalk when it knocked on my door.
Some context:   more...
In part 1, I explain how a big opportunity has come along and with it, so has a rising sense of fear that I may fail in the endeavor.
Part 4: "AfterThoughts"
__________________________

FEAR of HAPPINESS, the Series:

Part 1-
An invitation from a successful writer (writes for a living) to join a writer's group brings to the surface a fear of...success? failure..? Not sure...

Part 2-
I go looking for some answers in the self-help section of the books store

Part 3-
Before the first meeting of the writer's group, I ask myself what I want from it

Part 4-
Reflections after having returned from the first meeting.  less

Part 3
Just before leaving for the writer's group Julie, the writer, has set up.
I'm wondering what the heck I want to get out of this journey- this new commitment.
Part 4: "AfterThoughts"
__________________________
  more...
FEAR of HAPPINESS, the Series:

Part 1-
An invitation from a successful writer (writes for a living) to join a writer's group brings to the surface a fear of...success? failure..? Not sure...

Part 2-
I go looking for some answers in the self-help section of the books store

Part 3-
Before the first meeting of the writer's group, I ask myself what I want from it

Part 4-
Reflections after having returned from the first meeting.
  less

Part 4, final in the series

Thoughts after coming back from a first big step toward a dream
- a writer's group.
__________________________

FEAR of HAPPINESS, the Series:

Part 1-
An invitation from a successful   more...writer (writes for a living) to join a writer's group brings to the surface a fear of...success? failure..? Not sure...

Part 2-
I go looking for some answers in the self-help section of the books store

Part 3-
Before the first meeting of the writer's group, I ask myself what I want from it

Part 4-
Reflections after having returned from the first meeting.
  less

He is very pitiful.

A curse on my cake baking

can't begin to describe the number of times windows movie maker froze when I was making this. I don't have the middle part of 'The earth king', so I couldn't include the clips from Zuko's nightmare. Does   more...anyone know where I can directly download that episode?
The song is 'failure' by Unloco.  less

New World Order

bush describes how to handle the rescue of the gulf coast... why do so many die on the roofs after weeks? how long does it take to fly over the gulf coast?

Haven't you noticed as you get into a room with old people the topics of conversation are who died and my newest illness. I mean what the hell you don't get laid anymore so you got nothing to talk about   more...there. So this is me tellin you what my latest illness is.  less

Went behind my house to see if i couldnt get my digicam to fit in my helmet. It fit fine but i need to figure a way to hold it in place.

the same kind of situation - make a world beater , then ruin it

The requirements were made official in March 1957 with GOR (General Operational Requirement) 339. This specification was exceptionally ambitious   more...for the technology of the day, requiring a supersonic all-weather aircraft that could deliver nuclear weapons over a long range, operate at high level at Mach 2+ or low level at Mach 1.2, with a short takeoff ability from rough and ready airstrips.

Specifically the requirement included:

* deliver tactical nuclear weapons at low level in all weathers.
* photo-reconnaissance at medium and low levels day and night
* electronic reconnaissance
* deliver tactical nuclear weapons day and night at medium altitudes blind bombing if necessary
* deliver conventional bombs and rockets

Low level was stated to be under 1,000 ft (300 m) with an expected attack speed at sea-level of Mach 0.95. The operational range was to be 1,000 nautical miles (1,850 km) operating off runways of no more than 3,000 ft (900 m)
Work on GOR 339 continued, with a deadline for submissions on 31 January 1958. A large number of proposals were entered; EE's P.17A along with designs from Avro, Hawker and Vickers-Armstrong (through their Supermarine division). Short Brothers also sent in the P.17D, a flying platform that was to be used in concert with the P.17A, lifting it into the air so that the P.17 did not have to have VTOL performance on its own. The Air Ministry eventually selected the EE P.17A and the Supermarine 571 for further development. The Ministry was particularly impressed with the Vickers submission, which included not only the aircraft design, but a "total systems concept" which outlined all the support facilities and logistics needed to support the aircraft in the field.

GOR 339 was revealed to the public in December 1958 in a statement to the House of Commons. Under pressure by the recommendations of the Committee on Estimates, the Air Ministry examined ways that the various project proposals could be combined, and in January 1959 the Minister of Supply announced that the TSR-2 would be built by Vickers-Armstrong working with English Electric; the initials coming from "Tactical Strike and Reconnaissance 2"
The envisioned "standard mission" for the TSR-2 was to carry a 2,000 lb (900 kg) weapon internally for a combat radius of 1,000 nautical miles (nm) (1,850 km). Of that mission 100 nm (185 km) was to be flown at higher altitudes at Mach 1.7 and the 200 nm (370 km) into and out of the target area was to be flown as low as 200 feet (60 m) at Mach 0.95. The rest of the mission was to be flown at Mach 0.92. If the entire mission were to be flown at the low 200-ft altitude, the mission radius was reduced to 700 nm (1,300 km). Heavier weapons loads could be carried with further reductions in range.

Extensions to the TSR-2's range were planned to be made by fitting external tanks — one 450-Imperial gallon (2,000 L) tank under each wing or one 1,000 Imperial gallon (4,500 L) tank carried centrally below the fuselage. If no internal weapons were carried, a further 570 Imperial gallons (2,600 L) could be carried in a tank in the weapons bay.

It was also planned to be able to equip the TSR-2 with a reconnaissance pack in the weapons bay which, coupled to the aircraft's capable sideways looking radar (SLAR), would have turned the aircraft into a formidable "recon" asset not unlike the contemporary North American RA-5C of the United States Navy.
The design was a large aircraft to be powered by two Bristol-Siddeley Olympus afterburning turbojets, with a large shoulder-mounted slab-wing with down-turned tips, an all-moving swept tailplane and a large all-moving fin. The engines were a variant of those used in the Avro Vulcan, and would later be developed further for Concorde. It is often stated, incorrectly, that the leading designer of the TSR-2 was Vickers' Barnes Wallis, the legendary aeronautical engineer f  less

Seeing Timothy Leary speaking in Berkeley, trying to deal with a naked woman.

Dude attempts to jump over several chairs and fails miserably...

Added some music since you cant hear much over the wind. Youll notice camera failure at 4:53 when all of a sudden it goes off to the left.

A reply to ScrumsRus video on health problems, and sharing some of my experiences.

Good news, and Bad News.

Attempt #2 at the helmet cam. This vid is pretty boring so feel free to skip to Part 2 because i pick up the speed in that one.

Just me bein' weird.

What more could you ask for?

I'm stupid....
Telling myself not to talk for all of lent was not a possible thing for me to do in my college life...

My blubbering over my inability to play music.
Later, in part 2, I discover a new found hope.

Here's a neat little stunt you can try on your dad's computer while he's at work; I am sure he won't mind.

"Nowhere Man" by The Beatles with a Bush slide show.

Amateur!