Ghingis, I'm singing a SERIOUS song!!!
One of my favorites...but no one does it like Gary Jules
Starts out whimpy, and a few flat notes here and there, but I still loved singin' it, so there. ;o)

What does it mean to grow up in a paradigm full of fear (the terrorist threat, the war on terror, evil axis, etc)?
What's really communicated to young people when world leaders engage in wars without consequence   more...(freedom on the march, no accountability for deception on a global scale, no personal consequences for leaders making decisions that continue to cost thousands of innocent lives) while the adults in their lives tell them violence is not the way?
What goes unspoken while they watch the nightly news, seeing bloodied children being carted away on stretchers and then being asked, via bumper-stickers-galore, to support the troops without questioning what that looks or sounds like.
Sometimes all it takes is a few markers, a big piece of paper, and about fifteen minutes of their time.  less

based loosely on a true story
(and I mean LOOSELY)

This is my mantra.
Generally, the poem is interpreted as a feminist call for women to rediscover their authentic selves outside the roles given them by a largely patriarchal society.

However, I put it in   more...the context of my own life, as someone who basically lives in a reflective stance, always willing to mine the past for treasures, while choosing not to live there.

While I appreciate and understand Rich's intent, I don't see the meaning as being valuable only to women.

It's for anyone who's not afraid of the darkness, and can see the book of myths for what it is.

<b>Diving Into The Wreck</b>
by Adrienne Rich

<i>First having read the book of myths,
and loaded the camera,
and checked the edge of the knife-blade,
I put on
the body-armor of black rubber
the absurd flippers
the grave and awkward mask.
I am having to do this
not like Cousteau with his
assiduous team
aboard the sun-flooded schooner
but here alone.

There is a ladder.
The ladder is always there
hanging innocently
close to the side of the schooner.
We know what it is for,
we who have used it.
Otherwise
it is a piece of maritime floss
some sundry equipment.

I go down.
Rung after rung and still
the oxygen immerses me
the blue light
the clear atoms
of our human air.
I go down.
My flippers cripple me,
I crawl like an insect down the ladder
and there is no one
to tell me when the ocean
will begin.

First the air is blue and then
it is bluer and then green and then
black I am blacking out and yet
my mask is powerful
it pumps my blood with power
the sea is another story
the sea is not a question of power
I have to learn alone
to turn my body without force
in the deep element.

And now: it is easy to forget
what I came for
among so many who have always
lived here
swaying their crenellated fans
between the reefs
and besides
you breathe differently down here.

I came to explore the wreck.
The words are purposes.
The words are maps.
I came to see the damage that was done
and the treasures that prevail.
I stroke the beam of my lamp
slowly along the flank
of something more permanent
than fish or weed

the thing I came for:
the wreck and not the story of the wreck
the thing itself and not the myth
the drowned face always staring
toward the sun
the evidence of damage
worn by salt and away into this threadbare beauty
the ribs of the disaster
curving their assertion
among the tentative haunters.

This is the place.
And I am here, the mermaid whose dark hair
streams black, the merman in his armored body.
We circle silently
about the wreck
we dive into the hold.
I am she: I am he

whose drowned face sleeps with open eyes
whose breasts still bear the stress
whose silver, copper, vermeil cargo lies
obscurely inside barrels
half-wedged and left to rot
we are the half-destroyed instruments
that once held to a course
the water-eaten log
the fouled compass

We are, I am, you are
by cowardice or courage
the one who find our way
back to this scene
carrying a knife, a camera
a book of myths
in which
our names do not appear.</i>  less

What do you suppose it's like being a child in what seems like the Age of Global Terrorism?
Their art speaks volumes.

This was originally one of two THANK YOU vids that were to have everyone's names on it who's watched and commented from the start, but the list got to be too long and too many!!!
...Oh, and fear set in-   more...FEAR of leaving someone out, so I nixed it.

I think I'll just do a thank you vid at the end of each month, so I don't let it get away from me. Some of you have absolutely no idea how you've impacted my life and my ideas, and I hope to change that in the future.
If you're reading this, THANK YOU for sticking with me, watching and commenting. You've helped to make this quite a ride!  less

Fear can make you a stranger to yourself.

This was what I needed to say in response to seeing the movie, "The Brave One" with Jodie Foster. It's all about how fear in the form of rage can change   more...you. To me, the title of the movie is ironic, but the audience seemed not to think so.

The scenes here are from that movie.  less

Holy bejeezus, this took forever- sorry to those people who submitted vids back in 1998, but it took a long time for a good reason.

www.oksanamodel.wetpaint.com

What's scarier? Dying alone, living the kind of life where no one would know you were dead, or simply being forgotten?

RIP: Vincenzo Riccardi, 1935-2005

I initially thought I made this video in memory   more...of Mr. Riccardi, and as a way to think more deeply about my relationships with others. But in reading comments, especially dancingwithabroom's, I realized that it's possibly the fear of being forgotten that made me feel so deeply for this man.

"Once upon a time
a very long time
ten years long

was about to tell...
but would betray her confidence

after the end
obsessed with how one dies
alone

choking on food
falling
skull fracture
aneurysm
getting lost in the woods
drowning in a creed

Not any longer"  less

<b>JUNE 11th- The first of many vids on Fear of Intimacy- FINALLY!!!</b>
WHat a MONSTER project that was! But I'm the better for it.
____________________________________________
I'm focusing   more...(mostly) on 10 fears this year (see "Top 10 Fears for 2008).Each will be preceded by an invitation to submit your thoughts in video form or in text to possibly be included in the next fear vid about that particular fear. This is the first one.
____________________________________
Here are the questions:
* Do you fear intimacy?
* Do you fear love?
* Do you have a hard time with relationships?
* What IS intimacy?
* What are the elements of healthy intimacy?
* Can you be healthy and be single?
* Can you evolve spiritually in a relationship as much as you can as a single person?
* Is intimacy love? Is it sex? Is it love and sex?
* What is love?
* Does romantic love exist?
_____________________________________
Pick one or all!
There's no deadline since this is an ongoing thing.  less

model in sexy photo shoot. She is hot

Part 2
wherein I do a little fieldwork at the bookstore in search of the source of my angst and a way to break past patterns where I kicked opportunity to the sidewalk when it knocked on my door.
Some context:   more...
In part 1, I explain how a big opportunity has come along and with it, so has a rising sense of fear that I may fail in the endeavor.
Part 4: "AfterThoughts"
__________________________

FEAR of HAPPINESS, the Series:

Part 1-
An invitation from a successful writer (writes for a living) to join a writer's group brings to the surface a fear of...success? failure..? Not sure...

Part 2-
I go looking for some answers in the self-help section of the books store

Part 3-
Before the first meeting of the writer's group, I ask myself what I want from it

Part 4-
Reflections after having returned from the first meeting.  less

This is a LiveVideo community montage of fears.

It's a gift to you all to show my appreciation for all you've taught me on the journey, so far.

"The Fear Chronicles" has become much more than   more...just me exploring the topic of fears.

This community, in all its collective wisdom and heart, has given me the light in which to pierce through the darkness into fear itself- doing so with humor, fierce intensity, the courage to take risks, the courage to be vulnerable, and the desire to connect with others on a much deeper level so as to push aside fear and speak from a place of love.

Thanks, all.
Syd

FEATURED IN THIS VIDEO:
alaskainmydreams
alexusmalibu
Ameh78
ausanese
axegrinder01
BlancheNoE
bluga
BradThunder
Chig
DaDuck
gabrielized
huneebee1
IAmAnaBerry
knightchik
KraevA
Marhita84
mercofspeech
Moonchimes
PnkDragn
Ravensinger
ReluctantRedneck
SlickJimmy
TheBlessedBlogger
threeheadedbaby
tommy30507
torigirl35
totalmess
Traegorn
twinkle38


VIDEOs ATTACHED TO “What Are Your Fears”:
*Please know that if your video wasn't a part of the movie, it was a sound issue (background noises or other music), or it was wholly visual and couldn't be clipped without its context.

Bettyboop2cute
CoolyThat
CreaturesFarley
curt433
downwithborgs
draupnir2005
Dugalwest
EyeNetaSeeMore
FattyFFO
genghis6199
HUTHEMIGHTY
irony
Lankyviktor
LtAdams2247
mrsmokidd
PastaBaby
soho
StillJoesGirl
suzecue72
Talonhardin
TinkerTailorSoldierSpy
Tobie2
tdg143
UberGringo
VioletKitty411
viper231
ZachScott

SPECIAL THANKS:
Sm0ky, for the photo-montage

MUSIC:
“Evanstar”
from Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers  less

no 2 of the shady martial arts blockbuster :) dubbed for fun lol

Be sure to count how many times I pop up in the video! LOL

www.vikamodel.wetpaint.com

A tribute to Fai from Tsubasa Chronicles. Fai no Teema means Fai's Theme in japanese, because the song is Strange Names (sometimes called Strange Games, I dunno why) and it's his theme song...

DISCLAIMER:   more...I do not the content of this video, I merely mixed it all topether. The video and music belong to the original creator, not me.  less

South American Model

<b>Read Description for a link to part 2</b>
This is the true story of the most remarkable UFO case ever recorded. The investigation lasted over five years. This film documents that investigation   more...with the people who were actually involved. The evidence speaks for itself.
<a href="http://www.livevideo.com/video/ConspiracyCentral/7BE646BEBC8D4A31B463B0BD549C130B/ufo-the-billy-meier-chronicl.aspx">Click Here for part 2</a>
  less

www.irinamodel.wetpaint.com

RogerMaddy puts out a call for 3-D vloggers and I'm no longer satisfied with my whimpy two dimensions. I want to vlog in a 3-D world!!!

Part 3 of 4 in a series.

Some of my passion for learning and for knowledge is derived from my fear of being ignorant or my fear of not knowing enough to be able to safe-guard myself from being taken advantage   more...of.

The question for me is, do I fear the con, or do I really fear my own innocense in the face of hidden agendas.
If I could change my trusting nature, though, I wouldn't.

Part I- "The King of Con"
Part II- "Land of Hidden Agendas"
Part III- "Knowledge=Armor?"
Part IV-"Virtual Betrayals"

This series addresses my fears of being conned and how it manifests as a desire to know as much as I can to protect myself against my own innocense and trust in others. When I experience betrayal, I lose trust in my own instincts, so I steel myself up with as much information as possible and constantly seek to understand the motivations of others.

All the music is from the soundtrack to the movie "I Am Sam" by John Powell  less

Fear 101: "The Three Levels of Fear"
An encapsulation of "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers, the first of many books I'm reading on the nature of fear. Self-help stuff   more...is not my cup of tea- I tend to get what I need from the first two chapters and the rest is all fluff. I found the levels of fears to be comforting for some reason- perhaps at the thought of being able to categorize them, implying we had the upper hand and could shuffle them like a freakin' deck of cards.
I like the idea that if I could just believe that I can handle ANYthing that comes my way, then all other fears could be proven baseless. If I look at my life, I could see that and know it, yet those stubborn fears remain.
Curiosities now, as a result of seeing many of my fears crowded into "level 2"- the nature of ego.
I need to list my fears- the ones I'm aware of, anyway.  less