 | | | | | | | |  | | JOCIC
 United Kingdom
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| |  | | BADASS84
 United States
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Profile
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Me and Frank
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Me At San Bern..
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Me With My Dog..
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Fairy Hand Dra..
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Me and One of ..
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| | | | |  | I to have had this experience in my mixed up life. lol there was a time that I was actually involved "to be married" (what does a 16 year old know about more...the rest of your life?). She was fun, bold and had a steady home life, where as i didnt. I found this very attractive and new. I met a young girl at a college I was taking some extra courses at, she was a friend who really cared for my well being (I was meeeeessed up in da cabeza). She kept talking to me about a good friend of hers (Monica) that I would love if I met. Of course I said , no. To make a very long and sad story short, this young girl was killed by a drunk driver and I was given info on her viewing. As I walked in heartbroken and scared (i was alone and 16 yrs old), I was greeted by several young girls and given printed info on my dead friend. I recognized the young girls very fast, I finally met "her friend"(Monica). being as heartbroken as i was over my friends death I introduced myself and sat down, prayed, cried and left. Monica (the friend) saw me, spoke to me and I knew there was somethng there. bad place, bad timing. We became friends later.
She had a patient heart, she listened, she knew when to be loving and when to be up front. My fiancee noticed the changes in me and we fought. She had many qualities I needed in my life and the other (Monica) also had things I wanted and needed in my life. What happened? The girls didnt change Val, I did. I became more patient of things (I was explosive), I began to know I was worth something (I had suicidal tendencies because of my screwed up youth),
I started to realize what I wanted and needed in my life, not necessarily from others but from myself as well. I had been settling because I didnt think "anyone" would have me. Dont get me wrong, I loved both girls and it was so hard to even think of losing either of them.
What did I do? Hmmmm I took a cowards way out and joined the military. I served four years in Germany and kept contact with both girls. One girl gave up on me and the other was my friend. We argued, we hated eachother, we loved eachohter and we were there for eachother. When i came home, I found that one girl (My fiancee) gave up and had gotten pregnant by some guy who "looked like me" (this was told to me by her family members). The other was and is still my best friend. We've been together over 20 years now. In this time, I realized that the changes came because of me and within me. I needed to stop depending on others for explainations of things that hurt. I stopped the hurting. I wasnt looking for just anybody but for those special people in my life. (THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN)
This is also a time I was able to spend quality time with my God and see that I need His guidance in my life. I was screwing my life and these girls life up without Him. I called that time in Germany "the years I pulled my head out of my ass". lets be real about this. If you cant love yourself, who can you show real love to? You have to find love in yourself in order to give love. Till I met God I didnt know love. Now Im able to love others. My wife IS my best friend and my life is filled with love. The question here is (at least for me) when do you really let go? I have not forgotten that othere girl. I feel bad that things are not as she wanted but I have to move on. She made her discisions and I made mine. I bless her in my prayers and ask God to keep a look out for her and her kids. me? I love my three kids to death (as well as those I help in my area) and have a great time daily with my wife (weeeeeeeeeell, almost) lol. I would want that for everyone.
Getting back to your question: yes, you an love two people at once but its unhealthy and most times youre actually looking for something in yourelf. Build yourself, dont expect others to be that of what you need. God helps and is always available. You have also just read how I met my wife and how we built our marraige. I dont usualy tell this story because of its sadness, especially this time of year. Nov. 1st was the date we placed our good friend (and matchmaker) into the ground 20 odd years ago. Shes still very much alive in our marriage today. We got married 6 years later (four I was in Germany and 2, here to make sure we knew what we were doing). I think we do. less | Last reply Dec 2, 07
by Klarksen |
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