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thelongmile
I'm lost somewhere between the driving seat and the rest of my life....
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22 years old
United Kingdom
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 Ahh... nights
Saturday, July 5, 2008 (11:49 PM)
(I'm feeling tired)
So I havn't posted a video in a while... not since I introduced you all to Molly the dog............

Why?

Well I've done the smart & quite stupid thing, of switching to the nightshift in work.
What crazy things inspired this I hear you ask? Was it to do with a movie, a bad case of road rage in the rush hour traffic, or was it the fear from will smiths latest movie that has shunned me away from the light into the dark?

The answer is none. And yes you would be right in thinking it's because I can't think of a funny or witty one liner about some washed up movie actor who's agent has been working overtime to create two similar movies in one year because apparently "Will Smith" likes wandering about in cities being a superhero, or the only person left alive who act's like a superhero.....

The simple reason I switched, is money. It pays a whopping additional 300 quid a month, NET!, that's after tax, after deductions... seriously, I'm trying to look out for myself now anyway. And the job is so much better.

Mind you... bridgend smells funny at 4:15 in the morning. I can quite figure out why.....

Ok so next on the list is bad movies... again.  Will smith and Hancock aside (do you think they should have dropped the 'han' from the title?) I watched one movie recently, that was hyped and hyped and hyped...Teeth...

If you havn't seen it, youre a damn site luckier than me. The story is, a young teenage girl suddenly discoveres she has teeth in her vagina.. that are hungry...... Now... this was marketed as a horror movie.... not only that it was marketed as a serious movie......

The acting is SO BAD that it's actually funny.... Like the scene in the gynacology room, where she gets an exam and then.. 'she' or rather 'her teeth' manage to bite off the OBGYN's fingers... it's HILLARIOUS

This was marketed as a horror movie. a NON PORNOGRAPHIC horror movie, I might add... but seriously, it's the best freaking comedy I've ever seen.... but as a movie, it's rotton, seriously rotton.

Next up, iTunes single of the week.
In the UK right now, it's Cage the Elephant - Ain't no rest for the wicked.

Hold up. This is a major song release in the UK. It's in the charts! What happened to the person in the office that picked out all the neat obscure songs that no-one had ever heard of? Still, Kudos to the person for picking something that alot of people might actually want to download, but again, negative points to the person for making the lives of undersigned or even unsigned artists, even harder...

Still at least they went out and found the 'not so well known' version which does not include the silly guitar and drumbeats....

SPAM! Thats next!

Has anyone else noticed a distinct lack of enthusiasm from the spammers latley?
Everyday, I sit down with a cup of coffee and go through my spam email folder on my gmail, hotmail, and thelongmile.net servers. Mostly because I'm worried something important, might get shoved in there when it shouldnt be, but secondly because I find them quite funny at times, at the sheer amount of effort people go to, to try and bypass the spam filters.

Emails with the taglines C1/\L15 & \/1@GR@ ONLY 2 DOLLARS, are sometimes amusing (the spammers have learnt 7331 speak!, that is SO 1997!) but the ones that really amuse me are the ones that make no sense at all. The ones that seem to have an excerpt of a book, but dont actually try to sell you anything, and have no attachments....  Theyre funny, in a creepy sort of way, but somewhat pointless.

Yet latley, all I've been getting are the emails asking me if I want fake watches or pirate software at low low prices, or strangley, fake underwear. Yes I've actually had one asking me if I want rebranded Calvin Kloon underwear at a fraction of the price..... Could it really be that after almost 11 years on the internet that the spam emails asking me if I want a bigger chicken, or the ones that tell me I can "please her longer" are gone?

Strangley, I'm going to miss the 600 or so emails I get a day telling me that I can get penis enlargment, penis pumps, viagra, cialis etc etc. I'm going to feel strangley unpopular only getting offers for fake watches etc... No idea why..

Next up, Podcasts.

Who here actually takes the time to download a podcast to your MP3 player and listen to it on the move? From what I've been hearing, not many. Now I subscribe to about 40 or so podcasts. Alot of the technical blogs, Cnets 'Buzz out loud" Radio 1's chris moyles show etc, but I generally sit here and listen to the podcasts while im winding down after work, or doing things like this blog. (FYI CNET Buzz Out Loud is what's playing right now).

Now what would REALLY make this good for me, is being able to listen to them in the car. Now I know everyones about to say "Ahh well just plug your ipod into your car stereos Aux port or get an IPOD compatible car stereo" but that would then involve buying an iPod, and pressing additional buttons whilst driving along.

Now I know some smartass is going to say "well just burn them to a CD-RW every couple of days". Now, think about this for a moment. There are so few CD Players out there, that will even cope with a CD-RW, mainly because the disk is thicker, and so many players just plain don't like them.

It would be nice though if someone came up with an intelligent solution to this. Wi-Fi hotspots are ever more common, so why not develop a system like an RSS feed aggregator? Now I know this is getting technical for alot of people, but how many people use things like Google reader? or even Viigo on smartphones? All a podcast is, is an RSS feed. So why not stick all of your podcasts onto a centralised source on the web, so you can access it on any computer in the world (thats good!) but it means you could download it on any internet enabled device or wifi device, such as an iphone, or most smartphones on the market... so then develop it so your in car stereo can either sync them daily while your car is sat in the garage, drive, parking lot or wherever you leave it overnight, or even as you drive through wireless hotspots?

That seems to me like a really good idea! He'll I'd buy it... and well... in theory it wouldnt be THAT hard to implement! My idea though, I want copyright privs and royalties if it ever get's developed. MY IDEA! NO STEALING!

Well I'm going to leave you with that as I wander down to somerset to get a bigger and better espresso machine.
I leave you with a hot tip for the week (oh look I've just implied I'm going to do these weekly.. yup, I am.. reed and seed)

Anyway my hot tip for this week, is B-movies. DONT FORGET ABOUT THEM!

Sit on the couch, get a few beers and a pizza and watch the old B-Movies in the mornings like you used to!
Seriously, I miss watching those B-movies, like "ESCAPE FROM PLANET MARS" etc etc. Or the modern day B-movies (so to speak) like Lexx.... Wernt they great?

Take care all!
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 Good Morning
Monday, June 16, 2008 (12:16 AM)
(I'm feeling thoughtful)
Greetings.

So, there hasn’t been a proper blog update for a while. Partly because I’m a lazy shite and I’ve been enjoying the weather, partly because the new iPhone got announce and I’ve been struggling to understand why I should care, and, why I’m so attracted to it… seriously….

It’s weird isn’t it. I like the iPhone… but I hate it at the same time, in the same way that Jerry Yang is strangely attracted to Microsoft but bitterly hates them at the same time, and then moves to the opposition as a happy compromise…. He’s an idiot isn’t he… No wonder he’s going to get sacked.

By the way, I have one cup of coffee, and a croissant with some jam, and it’s 7:18 in the morning, and I’m listening to BBC News 24. So don’t be surprised if I suddenly divert from the subject onto something else.
Speaking of which, lets get this section out the way.

Marks a bit fat and wants to get a bit thin.
I’ll keep this one short but essentially it isn’t going well. Despite regular exercise, a drop in food intake and a change of diet to be more healthy, plenty more water being drunk etc, I don’t seem to be shifting weight. I seem to have settled on one weight, which is actually heavier than I was when I started!

Now I know that’s mostly water that I’ve taken on and I’ve actually lost fat, but it’s really pissed me off. Perhaps a change of workout is in order… perhaps something else. I’m not sure, and I’m going to speak to a dietician later today.

One thing that I did do as part of this project, was cut out coffee, caffeine and sugar. Totally. Except of course the caffeine held in Thermobol pills. Mainly because when I drink coffee, I generally take it with milk. Time to start with caffeine again I think, but minus the milk.

General News –
Those of you in the UK will know full well about the fuel strikes that have been going on. Of course most of us are not really affected, unless we live in Cornwall or South Wales… So guess where I live. Yup you guessed it, South Wales.

For those of you that don’t know, check out the BBC News homepage and you’ll probably see the news on it.
Problem is the truck drivers at the moment, who haven’t really had a pay rise in 14 years, who, are paid well above the national average salary, and area already paid quite a high wage for what they do anyway, are striking because they want a pay rise. Understandably this upsets me.

So It means I can’t exactly go out, as there’s no fuel anywhere. Unless I want to pay a record 1.70 per litre.

AMERICANS, TAKE NOTE. YOU DO NOT HAVE EXPENSIVE FUEL. YOU ARE CHEAPER PER GALLON THAN THAILAND IS PER LITER. YOU HAVE ONE OF THE LOWEST FUEL COSTS ON THE PLANET. IN FACT, ACCORDING TO CONDE NAST, YOUR FUEL PRICE RANKS AS ONE OF THE BOTTOM 5 LOWEST PRICES ON THE PLANET . QUIT COMPLAINING!

And because I like to give examples, let’s go on the British price shall we?

Firstly. We measure our fuel in liters. And we must remember a British gallon, and US Gallon are different.
US Gallon – 3.79 Liters, British (Imperial) gallon = 4.55 Liters

Now. The Stats, so you guys can do the maths with me at home.

Exchange rate for GBP to USD as of 16/06/08, sourced from http://www.xe.com

1 US Dollar = 0.51243 GBPs.

Average US Fuel Price for On-Highway Diesel
@ 469.2 Cents per gallon / 240.4 Pence Per gallon (source http://www.eia.doe.gov/ - Energy Information Administration as of 16/06/08)

Average British Fuel price for Diesel
@ 131.0 Pence Per Liter / 255.6 Cents Per Liter (source http://www.petrolprices.com – Petrol Prices as of 16/08/08)

To do the math, convert the UK price into US dollars by taking price in the UK and dividing it by the exchange rage. Then take that price per liter, and convert it into gallons.
So (131/0.51243)=255.6, then 255x3.79 = 966.45. So $9.66 per gallon!

From here on In, I’ll calculate everything In US dollars, and I’ll base it around a car that is sold in both the US and the UK with the same size fuel tank. For the examples, we’re going to use the new BMW 525D. Which has a 70 liter tank, and we’re going to assume the tank is dry.

70 liters = 18.5 US Gallons

So, a full tank based on the UK fuel price would cost $179.21 for a full tank
and based on the US fuel Price the same tank would cost $ 86.80 for a full tank

You really don’t have it bad do you?

So there you have it. A morning rant, with a morning expression about fuel prices. Go fourth, multiply, make more news, see how things go.
Take care!
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 I am still here, I promise...
Friday, May 30, 2008 (6:59 AM)
(I'm feeling good)
Good Evening and welcome to another edition of it's the arse...

Ok so Maybe Monty python jokes are out, but still, I seem to have been a bit of an arse latley. You might also notice that I'm not on LiveVideo so often anymore. Now, that part I can explain, really...

I'm back on deviantART, and well, i've been obliterating myself at the gym. Oh, and I've updated the website.
Now, lets talk about that first part. deviantART.

deviantART is responsible for a large portion of my life, my photography and designing my website, it's also where I first coined the name of thelongmile. About four years ago. Had it not been for deviantART I probably would have been more successful in life. But, much like a Columbian drug dealer, or Ozzy Ozbourne, it was the addiction that turned things sour.

Speaking of sour. WHAT THE HELL is with those stupid sweets you get free at the petrol stations?

Honestly, I topped up the tank, and walked out of there looking like a fish with lockjaw!... at least I think they were sweets... they could have been fuel pellets or dog food but man they were sour.

There’s a hole in the space time continuum somewhere in Cardiff and my mouth entered it. Not to mention the breath it gave me! Like Napalm.....
Actually the more I think about it, the more I keep considering they were nitro tablets for cleaning the fuel tanks....

Anyway I basically spent a really long time on deviantART, got semi addicted, left and now I’m back...

So er, yeh, right, um... Oh yes. Gym

Obliterating myself yes, actual progression,no... which I can’t work out, either I’m not doing enough exercise or something’s wrong with me, though I’ve just started to loose weight again, it seems to fluctuate which I can’t work out. Still, I’m keeping on, keeping on. (I promised to keep this part small). I’ve now increased it to at least 40 mins on the treadmill, and then the weight training.

Now, website. Those of you who have not yet visited thelongmile.net. Go now, please. Take a look, take a look at the galleries, and download the PicLens Plugin as well, and view the galleries. I’m really pleased with it, and I would love some feedback.

That website, took me months to build, and went through about 50 different versions. So when I say please visit, I mean, please visit, and then I’ll put a survey up for it. Email your suggestions to me!

So how is everybody doing?
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 Oops
Monday, May 19, 2008 (1:49 AM)
(I'm feeling confused)
Before we begin -
On the iTunes - The Postal Service - Brand New Colony
In the Cup - Plain Water
Time at start: 22:32 (BST)


Right, I'm gunna keep this bit short, so dont worry, theres actually a blog post after this....

Basically I got through for some second opinions on the whole diet thing. Something was bugging me about the amount of calories they were asking me to consume, and the BMR (Basal metabolic rate).So I spoke to another registered dietician, I spoke to another two doctors about it, and got some information from my GP. Basically no-one can say yes or no on what I should be and shouldnt be doing with it.
So based on that, I've decided to go for something else, and this time I've got a general concencus on what I should be doing.

Up the amount of cardio I do dramatically, work on a sensible diet, and introduce some suppliments if I want a meal replacment such as promax. Bugger the supliments but heres the short of it.
1:  Eat Little and Often (4 times a day if possible)
2: Try and stuck to around 1500 calories a day for weight LOSS
3: Make sure I eat plenty of protien to make sure I don't loose muscle
4: Keep the Fat and Carbs relativley low
5:  Drink about 4 liters of water a day

Essentially keep it balanced, drink plenty of water and, cut back a little and train harder.

Sensible see... Thank god I didnt put myself through that other one.

OK SO!

Enough about weight loss for now!

Right, Mark wants a rant, so Marks going to have a rant.

Anyone reading this got kids? and if you do are they around the ages of 14-16?
If you said yes to that, then please explain WHY as mothers, some of you allow your children to go out dressed they way they are?

It really does sicken me to see some of the kids wandering around the streets looking like... well tarts... makes you wonder about the state of their parents.

Actually speaking of parenting skills..... I don't really give a shit about the law in England and Wales, but If I was doing something as a kid that was wrong, I'd get a smack with the belt or the slipper, and it saw me straight, so If my kids (if I ever have any) misbehave I'm damn tempted to do the same to them. Maybe It'll keep them in line,

Maybe we wont have so many chavs on the streets if the kids are brought up correctly!

Ok, so rant over. Sorry, but it really gets on my nerves.

My dad's birthday is tomorrow, and I have STRUGGLED to find him a gift. Now I wont go revealing anything on here on what i've got him, but by christ I had to searchand search and search!.
Mind you I did ask him a year ago what he wanted and he never told me, so I really have no idea with that guy!

As I always say to people. Don't know what to get me? Coffee. Get me coffee!

In Tescos the other day though, I did spot something that was really quite worrying. A battery operated corkscrew!!!
Talk about lazy.,... So lazy.... in fact.... so disgusted was I at this idea of being so lazy, that I brought one....

Wait hold on, that didnt work out very well did it!

Still, it's kinda neat.

Fire. I want to talk about fire, and then I want to talk about women. Fire first.
Since dawn of time, Man have fire. Fire good. Fire make man strong....
Man buy BBQ from Homebase on discount.
Man make fire everynight!
'tis nice you know!

We have had some Gorgeous Weather latley! So Man Make Fire and Man Make BBQ Steaks.
Anyone want a brewskie?

As for women? Why do the nice guys like me never get any luck with them, but the shallow assholes that cheat, screw other people behind their backs and tell lies, get the really good girls?

Still, theres always the gym!

Ta for now!
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 Marks a bit fat and wants to get a bit thin, part three.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008 (3:24 PM)
(I'm feeling accomplished)
Okay, so those of you that read my last Blog, and watched the vlog to follow it, know that

1 – I’ve started to loose a little bit of weight
2 – I’m drinking a lot more water
3 – I’m cutting down on the amount that I eat
4 – I’m going to the gum now.

All of these have left me rather tired, but still motivated, and whilst I’m not loosing much weight, I’m feeling healthier and more energised.

What’s really amazing is the gym has kick-started things nicely. Actually it’s quite surprising, because despite the fact that I’ve only been twice, it’s already had a little effect combined with everything else. Parts of me feel a little tighter, but not smaller.

So, I had a chat with the dieticians today. Had a few tests done, just to make sure I’m safe. Now Is time for the next stage of the process which should also be the last.

Diet Changes.
This is the one that scares the crap out of me. In the original blog I said I absolutely will not give up on my food... which I won’t... however It’s become apparent I need to make some dietary changes to get the best effect, and I’ve been recommended something safe, but will give me a near immediate effect to better motivate me.
Let me run through what I had to eat today, and then exactly what I did exercise wise and you’ll see just why I need a little kickstart to get a bit more motivation today

07:20 Breakfast – None (whoops)
10:45 Snack at first break (a bloody Cadburys snax biscuit)
12:30 Chicken Ceaser Salad Baguette with chips, and a pint... (It started good didn’t it)
18:00 Chinese Crispy Beef, with sweet and sour sauce and rice (not so bad, but oil.. and prawn crackers!)

Ok, so that didn’t go so well, so here’s the exercise routine I did tonight

15 Min’s treadmill, running only at a 3% gradient
10 Sets Leg Raises 15 Reps Each 25 Kilos
10 Sets Leg Curls 15 Reps Each 30 Kilos
5 Sets Lower Back Crunches 15 Reps Each at 35 Kilos
5 Sets Abdominal Crunches 30 Reps Each at 35 Kilos
10 Sets of Abductor Sel Crunches 30 reps each at 20 Kilos
10 Sets of Adductor Sel Crunches at 30 reps each at 20 kilos

Okay so thats my nights work down the gym, it’s usually pretty similar, same workout I used to do before. Only difference was it included leg presses at 150 kilos 30 presses and 15 sets, and a 2000 Meter row to be completed in 8 mins.

So it’s not a bad workout, it targets mostly the lower body, abdominal area with a little saved for upper body from the rowing. That part will get toned later. So after speaking with the dietician, my exercise plan is sufficient, but I need to cut down what I eat and of course notice a little difference so I can actually get more motivation and keep this going.
Enter the diet simply entitled soup.

Before we begin, let me stress something. This diet is dangerous, and has been approved for me to use under medical supervision. Do NOT try it unless you’ve sought advice from your doctor.

Basically, I must do the following for seven days
Drinks that are allowed – Black Coffee, Water,
Food that is allowed – Soup (no more than 300 calories per tin), Bread Roll (one each evening with soup), Banana’s, Vitamin Tablets

Now. Looks a little silly doesn’t it? Remember that this is a one off diet, that will allow my body to process the fat and kick-start the metabolism to help me START to achieve weight loss goals but keep the weight off.
Basically the diet runs as follows

Day 1 & 2
- Breakfast – Cup of Coffee & One Pint Of Water, Plus one Vitamin Tablet
- Lunch – Soup
- Dinner – Soup with a bread roll, cup of coffee
Day 3 & 4
- Breakfast – Cup Of Coffee, & One Pint Of Water, One Vitamin Tablet & One Banana
- Lunch – Soup
- Snack if wanted (recommended) – Banana
- Dinner – Soup with a bread roll, cup of coffee
- Late snack – Banana
Days 5 – 7
- Breakfast – Banana, Vitamin Tablet, Water, Coffee
- Lunch Soup, with a banana as desert
- Dinner – Soup with bread roll
- Late snack – Banana

The diet is designed on the first day to provide a controlled reduction of calories to the point where my body is forced to start processing the stored fats and sugars. The second day is to allow it to stabilise. Days three and four, start introducing slow releasing carbohydrates to up my calorie intake and provide a little more stability and bring the body away from starvation mode. Days 5 – 7 are the final process, adding more stability, with not much change. Basically it’s dropping the calorie intake dramatically but ensuring I have enough vitamins and minerals to be alive and well. Essentially I could live off of this diet with no effort.

All the time I must drink as much water as possible. The general rule of this is that I have to drink enough so that I’m essentially pissing water. If there’s colour in my urine, then I’m not drinking enough.
The diet has two rules.

One - I must stick to it as best I can, but, I am allowed to deviate if I get to a point where I feel ill from hunger.
Two – If at any point I feel physically sick, faint or unwell, I am to stop straight away and not repeat the diet again.
I also have to complete my workouts at the same pace as I am doing now, but with the addition of a Hypotonic drink if water isn’t rehydrating me well enough.

The diets not that dangerous, but it is enough to cause a little shock if I don’t administer it properly.
From this, I should loose about 10 to 11 pounds, and then once I reintroduce my normal diet on the Monday afterwards (with some reductions of course), I should gain about 3 maybe 4 of them back, however it will give a kick-start and my body will be mobilising the fat etc, so should allow me to reduce weight a little easier.
So, on with that.

I’m going to be keeping a regular diary of how I feel each day, so you know how I’m getting on, with a weight at the start and at the end. And It starts Next week!

Wish me luck! - Or Not!
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 Let's update this now
Friday, May 9, 2008 (12:25 PM)
(I'm feeling CRAVING!)
Okay!

So, a few weeks ago I set myself the goal of getting fitter, loosing weight and stopping smoking.

Now, those of you who watched the video blog yesterday, will see that I have quit smoking. WOOOOO At long last, but jesus fucking christ I am craving right now more than I've ever craved in my life. Seriously, I've built up a nasty chewing gum addiction. My body is begging itself to have like one cigarette, but I know it wont stop there! So I can't have one, and jesus christ it sucks.

But on the plus side, I now have a resoundingly good sense of smell, and my tastebuds seem to be going back to normal, that and I'm feeling healthier, and sleeping slightly better (who knew!).
I know one thing though.
I feel cleaner!, my god it's so nice waking up in the morning, not tasting of what can only be described as Dog! and clammy from the cigarette smoke and niccotine odours. 

Though despite all this... I do actually miss them. I quite enjoyed having a smoke sometimes, and there was something incredibly satisfying and soothing about it. Hm, maybe im trying to convince myself that I want a cigarette, maybe not.... ARGH

So, let's see, what next. AH YES! Fitness!.

The fitness side of things has been going quite well. First off, im walking two miles a day. I'm walking up to the garage which is a mile away and back, at a very fast pace, (to put it bluntly I overtook a jogger), couple that with regular situps and pushups etc etc, I'm generally starting to improve my overall health, weight training and resistance training will start shortly, once my general health has improved and I've lost enough weight so that I can excersize at a non dangerous level. My average heart rate has come down slightly, and whilst my diet hasn't changed much, I am cutting down a little, choosing to eat when I'm hungry, etc. Learning weather I'm having a hunger pang or an "im thirsty" signal, though isn't going so well, I still cant work it out, but on the plus side, my health has generally improved.

Weight:

Although I've lost six pounds, I'm actually going to be a little more modest. My weight is fluctuating by about 4 pounds per day, So I'm actually going to say I've lost only 3 pounds as thats what it's averaging. Still thats good, and my body has started to mobilise the fat and process it! More excersise will start to fix that though, and I look forward to it starting to help me out. I know it wont be untill I start pushing a little with the exersise, that I will start loosing alot of weight, But the biggest hurdle has been overcome. Starting it.

So it's all started, so i decided to do something else.

All my life, I have never once tanned. My skin is pale, and resembles something out of a horror movie. I physically do not tan. I burn, and that is that.

Sunbeds don't work for me, and I refuse to get an all out St. Tropez, it's too dramatic in too short a time.

Instead, I bothered to do the gayest thing possible. I went out and brought body cream with that hint of tan stuff in it. And I'm now using it regularly.

YES I know it was rather gay
YES I know I will never live this down

BUT!

You've got to look healthy havn't you!... And theres nothing more healthy than a little glow.... I think.

Still, at least I don't look like something out of a Brahm Stoker film...
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 Ok, so I'm setting myself a goal.. and I need your help!!!
Monday, April 21, 2008 (2:08 PM)
(I'm feeling blah)

Ok, So Marks a bit fat and wants to get a bit thin,

Now generally, I hate my job, so It leaves me unmotivated. I have very little to do outside of work short of come on here, plus to be fair, there isn't much to do. 

So, let me put it into perspective.

I smoke, I dont exactly eat very healthily, I get almost no excersise, and have very little physical activity.

Hell, I was absolutley knackered bringing in a 22kilo bag of compost, and when I say bringing in a bag, I mean about 20 meters. Seriously,  I was panting. Thats disgraceful, for someone of 22. 52 and I'd understand, but that, is terrible.

Right. So let's sum up the vital stats

Height - 5'11 (155.75 cm)
Weight - 13Stone 11 (83.25 kg) (182 lbs)
BMI - 25.8

Now to put the BMI into perspective, (and please remember im not a doctor, and ALSO remember, that your BMI can be as high as you like so long as your healthy, im below average so It's appropriate)
Underweight = <18.5
Normal weight = 18.5-24.9
Overweight = 25-29.9
Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater

So, by medical standards, I'm overweight.  But only just, use of a scale, would mean that I'm in the first block of being 'overweight'.

I am a member of a gym. Do I go? No! Why?
Simple, I can't walk into a gym and work out on my own, and finding a gym buddy is neigh on impossible. So I loose motivation, I also loose the ability to actually stay there when I'm there. One of the huge demotivating factors, is that I'm not huge, nor am I chubby, but certain areas of me are quite large, and so i feel rather uncomfortable being there and being the only one with little or no muscular development, and nowhere near as thin.

Silly I no, but some of you will get what I am on about.

So, my goal is to loose one stone (6kg / 13pounds) in about a month. And Keep it off.
Anyone could loose a stone in weight in about two weeks, but of course they take drastic measures and they don't keep it off. They put it straight back on.

So let's see, physical excersise is quite important. And I definatley need fresh air.

Let's add a few lifestyle facts into the mix.

Whilst I don't eat that heathily, I always make a concious effort to pick out the better foods, and eat fresh. if I buy veg, it's fresh veg. If I buy meat, it's fresh meat, not processed or canned.
I am not, and will not be giving up my food. I'll eat a little more conciously than I do now, but I am not living on carrots and potatoes. I will eat, what looks good, and what tastes good. I simple have no understanding of how people can give up all of this fresh amazing and flavoursum food that is out there, that's been created and made by some of the worlds top chefs, to trade it in for a bag of salad and some potatoes with almost no enjoyment, just to keep the weight off.

My goal isnt so much to loose weight, but to trim and tone, with a little bit of weight loss but to become far more healthy.  But I shouldnt compromise on my enjoyment should I? Moderation.

I also don't drink much water. Today I've had two cups of coffee, and that is it.  No water, no coke, nothing, That is it.
I quite frequently go a day or two without drinking at all. Don't ask me why, but I do, how I'm alive, I don't know.

I set a project a few weeks ago, and drank 12 glasses of water throughout the day, every day for 14 days. The result, I started loosing weight, not much, but I had started to. I lost 4lbs in those two weeks alone. But I found it very hard to get into the habbit of drinking the water.

Ok, so we've pinpointed that issue as a potential benefit.

Now let's go back two years. I used to walk one mile into work every day. I worked in the Millenium Center in cardiff, and lived just over a mile away. In that period, I didnt drink any more or less, I ate what I wanted, literally, but I will day I probably didn't eat as much. However I remained at 11 stone, and very trim. Which I was most pleased with.

I had to leave that job, and lack of excersise meant that I ended up driving to work. it wasnt possible to walk it or cycle it as it was a good fifteen miles away. That job mentioned above, was a job I Had to walk to. There was no other way for me to get there.

I used to walk in and out of cardiff quite regularly too. But I actually drank more, wine, actually.

It seems that physical activity works very well for me, regular physical activity as well as plenty of water.

So how about combining the physical activity, with a hobby, say, photography. I'm on the doorstep of the brecon beacons, so why don't I go for it and actually start walking again around the hills. Isn't it worth it?

Absolutley, but we have one other thing to do.

Quit smoking.

That is by far going to be the hardest thing. Every time I cut down, I'm pleased, then I end up having week moments and go back up to 20 a day again. Everytime I go cold turkey, I'm alright for 16 hours, Then I smoke myself to death.

I need, essentially a full 24 hours without one. Once I get past that, I'll be quit, I'll be done, and I can move on.
Oh and by the way, everytime I use the patches, I end up wanting a cigarette more thanks to the cravings a constant stream of niccotine gives me.

Then i've got to work out the motivation to walk around. It's going to be so hard. But I need to do it. And I need to be more healthy.

So a weekly walk will work out well, plenty of water will work out well, and cutting back on certain foods should be a winner.....

what could possibly go wrong.............

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 Two weeks on....
Thursday, April 10, 2008 (3:52 PM)
(I'm feeling blah)
Hello all and welcome to another blog post by me... well, who else would it be by?

Anyway people how are we today?

I've discovered something that I'm really quite happy about! It's fantastic! Yes I am way behind the times on most things, and I've discovered that iTunes gives away music for free. Only reason I have iTunes is because I download about 30 podcasts every other day. So I checked out the iTunes store, brought a single track to check out the 'buying experience' and well, I discovered the "Single Of The Week". So I'm pleased as I'm downloading wierd and wonderful music, that I've never heard before. I have this thing about music that nobody knows, you never know what kinda music is out there, and I love it. Getting out of the mainstream you know.

Ever heard of Future funk squad?. Doubt it. One of their songs featured in CSI, called Deep Inside, but they are mostly R&B. Now I despise R&B, I utterly despise it. Because theres so much god damn mainstream music and it's horrible in my eyes. I mean what the hell is a JZ or a Kanye West when it's at home. But this stuff, the wierd and non mainstream, has it's own musical style of R&B, and it's brilliant.

So, let's talk about my news. Yes, I am actually going to talk about me, Thats surprising isnt it (not) given it's a blog post, that I do? No! oh well.

Right, So I'm quitting smoking. I've cut down dramaticalls, plus I'm drinking about 2 gallons of water a day. Aside from me now personally knowing the toilet cleaners in work on account of me running there every fifteen mins, I've suddenly noticed not only has my skin gotten better, but I've lost a shit load of weight. Unbelievable! But fortunate. Though I could loose a little more tonnage.

Moving on from me looking at carbs and acting like a girl, Big shout outs to danigirl who's been pulling all nighters, to stay on live video, and has sucessfully kept me entertained! Personally I think she's nuts, but hey, I gotta love the girl for trying.

Now I've done a liveshow or two since then, but never have the same impact as her. Somehow it's one of two reasons.
1: I'm boring (which is quite possible but very probable)
2: People on here are generally perverts and flock to any room with a woman in it.

Now I'm guessing it's mostly number one, but then I do wonder about people. In fact it must be said that on the liverooms, I've seen more cock that I ever had before in my life. Frighteningly however, they are all rather small.. and old. Now I'm not one to brag, but something that appears to be smaller than the corckscrew I use to open my wine, really doesent get that much respect.

Given the fact they are attached to extremley elderly men, I'm beginning to wonder if the liveshow front page will be changed from Home | liveshow etc, to Home | liveshow
| red hot cock action etc...... It's a very frightening thought.

Lets talk about women.

Now, apprently I am gay, for the following reasons
1: I don't like, nor believe in sex
2: I'm attracted to a persons personality, rather than their looks alone
3: I don't like football/soccer/rugby etc
4: I don't have this egotistical male macho mentality
5: I hate fighting
6: I like art
7: I don't like breasts
8: My idea of a good night is lying on the couch with someone with a bottle of wine just cuddling and talking in front of a good movie.
9: I don't like going out clubbing
10: I really don't like the idea of getting drunk as a fucking skunk for the sake of it

Now apprently I'm gay because of all of that!? Explain why!?

I treat people with dignity and respect. I believe in making love, rather than sex. I.e. emotional, compasionate love making, Rather than banging her brains out in the futile attempt to get off. And yes, I like people for people not their body parts. Seriously, I don't like breasts in a sexual way. They're just... appendages. I really dont see how some men can 'get off' from them alone. And I really despise fighting! In fact I actually have an emotional side, and care, and worry! I really dont understand why men think they are more attractive by fighting or kicking the crap out of each other! Why is that attractive! honestly! And drinking for the sake to get drunk? been there and done that. not entertaning because you can't remember anything and usually end up copping off with some slapper who literally wants to screw you in a club toilet and bugger off.

I mean come on, have you SEEN the toilets in nightclubs at 2 in the morning? I'm afraid to even take a piss let alone have sex in there! I mean christ, the toilets in Heathrow Airport were bad enough!

But, yes, apparently I'm gay because of that.

Im not!, but seriously! come on people!

Now then, heres some more me news. I'm switching to nights in work! Not least for the fact that it's an extra 500 quid a month after tax! isnt inconvenience bonus an amazing thing? Plus I am planning on coming to the states this year, so that should be a good place for my hard earned cash. I hope....

Anyway just one final thing. Me and Mr.Mikey are meeting up on saturday so expect either a vlog or a liveshow, from the terrible two.

Well, i'm terrible. He's just a pyromaniac.

OH! and another final final thing. I did a liveshow the other night on the meaning of life and religion, thank you to everyone who attended. The next show, will be focusing on Extra terrestrial life and conspiracies within it. The G-Files, will make an appearance I'm sure. But it should be good.

So, comments and thoughts on todays blog, always welcome.

Anyway, that really is all for now!

Toodles
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 Easter has passed... so has the sell by date
Thursday, March 27, 2008 (4:13 PM)
(I'm feeling lazy)
Pleh!

It seems everytime I turn on the tv, turn on the computer, or turn on my phone, bad news seems to come out of it.

Kind of like that comedy scene in films where people open doors or hatches and get hit by gigantic streams of water, comedy boxing gloves on springs, or even Antonio Bandares. It really does just punch you in the face sometime.

Fortunatley however, I am not going to go into detail.

Let's start off on a bright note.

Chocolate.

OH YES! Chocolate. Now, you may be thinking, that I, being the mentalist that I am, managed to indulge in several bottles of wine, and approximatley 6 kilos of milk chocolate. But, you would be wrong! So Wrong in fact, that I actually managed to avoid the tempting, quite seductive gaze of the ruby red bottle of chianti I have sat in front of me....looking at me....whispering......


*AHEM*

Sorry, where was I. Yes I avoided the wine. How I managed this, I have no idea, at all, and surprisingly, the most I got to indulge in, was a small amount of chocolate in the form of that wierd, but quite frankly, amazing creation, a cadburys cream egg. Which was melted...... and warm......... and given to me by my boss.... which was quite frankly more scary than being given a written warning. Still, it was relativley satisfying, once I had picked the tinfoil out of my teeth.

I find it remarkable however, that the 76 year old diabetic accross the road, not only got given a grand total of 47 easter eggs by her grandchildren and relatives, but she succeeded in attempting to pawn them off to the local schoolchilderen for 3 pounds an egg. Now, call my cynical, but the whole idea of kids being aware of the problems in todays society, was to teach them never to buy sweets of strangers. Now, this lady is strange. So strange, that I have repeatedly had to ask her why she is stealing my milk, and the plants from my front garden. Only to replace them a few hours later. I mean what, does she inspect it? Is she trying to bathe with them?

O.O

Fortunatley she is being moved to a care home in about two weeks. Which will leave me with a relativley undamaged garden, and fresh clean milk, without the prospect of it having been sloshing around in a bathtub, floating in my mind. I guess the point being though, kids these days are suckers for chocolate. Perhaps I could bribe them into doing not only my washnig up, laundry and vacuuming, but also my tax return and food shopping, by paying them in easter eggs.

Thinking about it, thats not a bad idea. The more work they do, the less I eat of their egg supply. Ah, Wait no, it would never work. Joan Rivers would accuse me of stealing her Child Labour supplies. Though she does make good jewlery, and was fantastic on season two of nip / tuck.

Interesting. I've just managed from going to comedy, to being a complete geek talking about a TV series. Speaking of which, when is greys anatomy and desperate housewives back on? For one thing, both were fantastic shows, and for a second thing hillariously funny, though none of the women appeal to me in those shows on account of they are all sleepring around / backstabbing / stealing / fighting / drunkards or generally causing problems for one another. That and the fact they are all not only old enough to be my parents, but I'm pretty sure one or two of them might actually be my parents. Seriously!

Fortunatley it is now thursday, which means not only is tomorrow friday, but the day after that is saturday! in a strange mathmatical calender type fashion which is simply too complicated for me to understand. Though apparently it has something to do with the greeks. Now, call me stupid, but why the hell does easyjet have a patent on my weekend? Seriously! I'll have to wear orange! Now thats just no fun. Well, unless you have a thing for Tapas and Ouzo.

Now, you might notice that I have not been making too many videos. This is oweing mainly to the fact that I have been working from 8am untill 4pm. Which means I have to be up at six in the morning. Meaning I also do not get home untill about 5 at night.

This usually means that by the time I've come in, actually managed to eat something, that I am too tired, and woefully depressed from the day to actually record a video.

It also owes to the fact that I am shortly going to be getting a camcorder to do some decent videos on. However I need to save rather alot of money as my computer has started to dislike me in the way that only a computer can. It is dying. Slowly, and painfully, flashing error messages.......... I think it want's something....comforting perhaps......maybe even a small friend....... or a pet.

Actually one of the reasons I've been reminded to write this, actually has something to do with a british blogger on here, unicyclephysics. Who asked about blogging. I was meaning to write one anyway, but needed a kick up the arse.

Money however, is not the best of subjects. I have my car service due ($400) my insurance due ($800), plus now the PC needs rebuilding so thats like what, ($1600), and i'm after a camcorder ($400 dollars) so yes, that is going to truley and totally suck

But still! all is well

tooldepip
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 Good Friday, And The Easter Blog
Thursday, March 20, 2008 (7:26 PM)
(I'm feeling bouncy)
Let's be honest about something.

I've never really been one for public holidays, or showering the local merchants in my hard earned money just to have something that is "holiday associated".

But, in a complete opposite turn to that, I do like chocolate... and brandy.

So rather than sit here, consider what to say and possible end up boring you all even further, I'm just going to open my cherry liqueurs and slowly get drunk from them, and the large bottle of wine which I slowly plucked from an unsuspecting mans eyes as he was staring at it in Tesco, rather lovingly.

So lovingly in fact, that I consider that he might have wanted to actually buy it, take it home, have, some sort of ritualistic dinner with it, and then drink it without any appriciation for the contents within. More the appriciation of the woman that would undoubtedly be sitting accross from him thinking he is sophisticated because he drinks wine and he cooks steak in that Oh so special way. Yes Indeed. I think I seriously deminished someones chances of getting laid tonight... but I digress.

Good friday is usually a little bit of a parody. The shops become chaotic, the roads become hell on earth, and of course, let's not forget the people who actually just do out because it's "The thing to do" that end up making good friday, nothing short of some kind of reincarnation of the incan sacrifice, where 3000 slaves were slaughtered because they were taking up space. Good Friday? Pleh! Bad friday I say, and proud of it.

Let us not forget the religious side of things here on this day. The day where Christ rose from the blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.............

Sorry, I really do have the utmost respect for everyone who has faith, I really do. But let's face it. There are precious few of us who actually celebrate Good Friday and the end of lent for what it really is, rather than the more usual, "oh hey it's lent, im going to give up...(insert name of food, drink or physical activity here)", as some sort of a personal challange. Those that do usually celebrate Good Friday for it's religious reasons, are more often than not, the old, auspicious type, that require 'changing' halfway through the morning service, before being wheeled out of the door and taken to the local cavery to have a 'meat' dinner, and the younger ones, usually tag along for their parents sake.

Of course while we're on the subject of religion, you'll find that one sin, is rather common around easter. As my friend quite frequently points out to me, gluttony, and sloth, tend to be my biggest failings.

Indeed such is the magnitute of my indulgance that I usually end up curled on the sofa in some kinda of fetal ball, as I clutch my stomach waiting for the impending doom that will inevitably come from eating the usual, four kilograms of chocolate or chocolate sweets, as well as the several bottles of wine and port that usually go with it.

Will I be repeating this experience tonight?

Not a bloody chance in hell! For one thing, I'm skint!, I am absolutley penniless! Not only that but, as I have been reminded several times by my friends and family, My car service is due! and the insurance.

Luckily, I have leftovers. Indeed, these two bottles of wine have been staring at me directly in the eye, just as the old decrepid individual was crossing the road, as I less than patiently waited for him to figure out how to use his left and right leg in a sort of waddling, neigh, walking motion, that he obviously had never done before.

Most of you will realise that I am rather accustomed to road rage. You see I do not suffer from road rage. Other people suffer from roadrage, at least, they seem to. Now indeed, I dont suffer from expressive road rage. That is I do not get out of the car and consistantly threaten people. No. I will actually remain in the car, swear very loudly to myself, come home and compulsivley eat.

You notice now just how far we have gotten off of the topic of easter. Well, actually that was the general idea. But we are planning on quite a big little fake news blog to go up, which I am going to plan over the "easter" break. In amongst the bottles of wine. Undoubtedly of course, my friends car will need work, or it will break down, and require vast amounts of work that will of course take up my time.

SO in an effort to avoid that, I'm going to start getting drunk now, and try to stay that way untill im forced to sober up and go into work.

Toodles!
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