Two weeks ago commenced a series of unexpected events. Miguel and I were bumping heads on a daily basis. We were in disagreement over insignificant matters. My buttons were being pushed left and right (or rather, I was allowing these buttons to go off as my pep-pees seemed to increase with Miguel’s attitude). I hid in the bathroom. I prayed it out. I cried. I worshiped. I tried the silent treatment (I know, I was being bad). I thought, and thought, and thought. I kept a grudge on a hurtful comment for two days. Those two days seemed eternity. I finally said, “Lord, I need your help here. I cannot make it on my own. I am upset with him, and I do not want to let this to grow any bigger. He does not understand. I don’t understand. S.O.S.!”

Then, we had an emergency meeting with our mentors, our Pastors, and as we spoke about an issue to be dealt with, VOILA! The Lord gave a word for a situation….without them knowing it was for my situation too. The message was: “Why do you allow for this person to keep stealing from you? They are stealing your blessing when you keep their offense in your heart. God says, ‘Until you stop judgment and release their offense, I cannot move.’ Restrained movement. This means that once you leave it in God’s hands, THEN He can deal with the person.”

It dawned on me that I was trying to take action in my own hands when it was a heart issue that only God could deal with. I felt peace, and my heart said, “I get it, Lord. I forgive and forget. You do what you have to do. If You make him understand, THANK YOU. But, if You choose to not deal with him on this matter, THANK YOU anyways because I know my life, our lives, our marriage is in your hands.”

We began talking about Proverbs 25:24. It says that it is better to be on the corner of the rooftop, and to live with the quarrelsome spouse. Obviously, in my case, I thought that the quarrelsome was Miguel…me too though. Somehow, we blamed each other. I felt like a bird on the top of the house whose wings were soaked and unable to soar. What neither of us realized is that we were both on the rooftop, and that the next couple of days a storm was about to crash on our lives.

The bad thing about being on the rooftop is that there is a lack of warmth, and one is exposed to the ever changing weather patterns that are bound to effect where protection is lacking. The good thing about being on the rooftop is that one gets a clear view of what’s going on outside of the four walls of our daily life. It is a place where one may question what is truly important. It is a place where one values the gift of family, of a home, of unity, and of not being alone. It is a place of decision-making: the roof or the room. It is a place where one’s pride must die, and come down to knock on the door with forgiveness and humbleness in one’s hands to continue in covenant with the one you decide to form a lifelong relationship. It is inside the covering of God that one has protection.

Relationships are a game, and doing favors earns you points. “I owe you one, dude.” There are a few ways to play this game.

One: rack up the points. Do whatever anyone asks, be the nicest guy in town. Everyone loves you. Problem is, after you’ve amassed a horde of points, they cease to hold meaning and you’re left as the erand boy.

Two: Maintain the equilibrium. Someone does something for you, and you return the favor. “Now we’re even.” You seem dependable but not especially generous.

OR: ignore the game, forget about the points, and live your fucking life! Things tend to work out if you give a little, get a little, but treat yourself at least as well as you treat others. Did that make any sense?

What is it the future holds for us?
A bleak wilderness shorn of identity,
Or, the fructification of a dream,
Cherished for long by mankind,
Life as a fleeting shadow,
Or, immortality for all times to come.


Who can distinguish science fiction,
From the facts of the coming age?
Shall life hold sway,
Upon this planet alone,
Or, take the universe in its stride?
Shall we see the conquest of time and space?


The events in our life,
Appear as beads on a fabric,
Strung together by a master weaver,
To whom yesterday and tomorrow
Are mere memories,
As he sees the whole of creation in its entirety.


Shall the gods come together,
To gain mastery over the universe?
And thus begin their final experiment
To redeem the cosmos itself –
The continuation of a cycle,
That was, and always shall be.


Shall the individual slowly evolve
Into a higher entity,
A conglomeration of minds,
That defines our destiny as a race,
A being aware not merely of the self,
But of the building blocks of matter.


In a world of probability,
When events combine in ways unseen,
Who shall distinguish tomorrow’s world,
From the world of fantasy?

I wanted to find the chat logs from the show “To Catch A Predator,” on Dateline NBC. With a little searching, I found the Perverted-Justice website, with a ranking system of the creepiest pedophiles on the show. You yourself can go to this website, read and rank the criminals on their creepiness. I found a majority of the chat logs to be unreadable due to voluminous profanity and general disrespect towards women and children. As Chris Hanson often makes a point to say on the show, the chat logs are extremely explicit, graphic, and offer an overall sickening experience. Despite the disgusting natures of these criminals and the things they say to naive children on the chat logs, the website really allows you to get familiar with the essence of the issue and gives insight into how these perverts operate. Please check this site out with the knowledge that the content is terribly disturbing. I only hope that as more people attempt to understand how sex offenders operate, the more criminals will be apprehended.

http://www.perverted-justice.com/?archive=byUserVotes

Fontana Books; Excerpt from page 23.

“For language, as Richard Trench pointed out long ago, is often ‘wiser, not merely than the vulgar, but even than the wisest of those who speak it. Sometimes it locks up truths which were once well known, but have been forgotten. In other cases it holds the germs of truths which, though they were never plainly descerned, the genius of its framers caught a glimpse of in a happy moment of divination.’ For example, how significant it is that in the Indo-European languages, as Darmsteter has pointed out, the root meaning ‘two’ should connote badness. The Greek prefix dys- (as in dyspepsia) and the Latin dis- (as in dishonorable) are both derived from ‘duo.’ The cognate bis- gives a pejorative sense to such modern French words as bevue (’blunder,’ literally ‘two-sighted’). Traces of that ’second which leads you astray’ can be found in ‘dubious,’ ‘doubt’ and Zweifel–for to doubt is to be double-minded. Bunyan has his Mr. Facing-both-ways, and modern American slang its ‘two-timers.’ Obscurely and unconsciously wise, our language confirms the findings of the mystics and proclaims the essential badness of division–a word, incidentally, in which our old enemy ‘two’ makes another decisive appearance.”

The genius of Aldous Huxley knows no bounds. This is a very shrewd commentary of the etymology of the word ‘two.’ Think of how little we think about the word two on a daily basis. It practically has no meaning until you start to travel down the rabbit hole a bit deeper. This just goes to show how much simplicity used to be esteemed. As a student of Anthropology, it’s easy to look at ‘less-developed’ civilizations and think of them as behind. The truth couldn’t be any more different to me. I tend to see these civilizations as ahead of us in many ways–who have no need for the social institutions of the ‘more-developed’ world. Who is really ahead?

Is there something that you wish to achieve or create in your life, yet you lack the confidence in yourself to follow through? Here are some tips for staying relentlessly focused on your goal.

1. Break your goal into executable steps.
2. Recognize that the key to achieving your goals is following through with the necessary steps.
3. Assign a schedule for each step and commit it to your calendar.
4. Use your calendar as your “to do” list. If you can’t get to a step on the scheduled date, reschedule it. Keep the step on your calendar until its completion.
5. If you are feeling resistance to following through with a particular step, get in touch with the belief that is in your way.
6. Replace the limiting belief with an idea that empowers you to move forward. Get inspired from someone who believes in you.
7. Hold yourself responsible for the life you create. Don’t allow room for regrets!

Why should you know what it means to raise your vibration? Because the process of raising your vibration is all about aligning with the energy that will attract what you want in your life.

Here are some examples:

To experience abundance, act from a mindset of prosperity:

* Eliminate the idea of lack. Acknowledge that what lies between you and abundance is your ability to claim it for yourself.
* Recognize that opportunities to create more abundance are all around you. It’s just a matter of focusing on them and  following through.
* Give generously, expecting that what you need will be provided.

To live meaningfully, follow your passions:

* Be driven by passion, not by money.
* Trust your heart over your analytical mind.
* Recognize that your unique gifts provide the clues to your purpose.

To achieve inner peace, be authentic:

* Express your inner self in your outer world.
* Connect with others from your heart.
* Seek to deliver what you’ve been born to do.

Sorry…what?! Someone. Please. Refresh.

I’m just saying.

Update: Found this chart on the net.

Things that make me go hmmmm….(click to make it larger - oh, how if it were only that simple!)

When I was in kindergarten, my teacher told my mother that I was going to become a doctor and my sister was going to marry a doctor.

I know that this was simply in jest, but when I was growing up, all I wanted to do was to become a doctor. I want to go to college and get a degree in pre-med and then go to graduate school, get my M.D. and specialize in neurosurgery.

To some it looks like I have it all planned out. To an extent I do.

Tonight my mother and I were talking about medicine and why I wanted to become a neurosurgeon. What answer can I give? How can I say, “I want to become a neurosurgeon because that is what I’ve wanted to become my entire life?” How can I say, “I know that out of all the fields in medicine, neurosurgery, for me, is the most interesting and it is the one field that I know I want to spend the next 15 years of my life working on to learn. It is the one thing that I know I will be able to get out of bed at whatever time and I will look forward to helping the people who need it most.”

I am honestly just at a loss of what I can tell my mother. I know people sometimes say, “She/He/They won’t understand.” Truly, I think this is one of those times. My explanation would simply not be good enough.

Robert Fritz, an American author, once stated, “If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise.” I know that I have not limited my choices. I know that I will not compromise for what I want professionally.

What I want the most is to honestly become a neurosurgeon so that I will be able to help people that not many are able to in the first place.