It felt good to strip down to my Juicy suit in the warm West Palm night. We waded in the water. He kept trying to glide towards me under the lamps light. 
We cracked our beers and came close enough for 'cheers'.
Common thieves. 
He had an eye on my prize. Unfortunate for him, I told him about the game. Distance widened in his eyes.  He was oblivioius that I had raised the stakes and got pissed that this wasnt a sure thing. But you know Brooklyn boys, always standing at thier mark.
He got left standing at the starting line that night.  Him and his stupid friends who tried to fire the starting gun. 
My mom answered the phone to a lost voice. She opened her door to the warm night to rescue me from my abandon. To hell with more sad stories of stupid men.
Swimming in pools and getting left for dead. This will be the last of them, no more to be read.

    Addiction is a killa- I think as I lite another ciggerette and sip caffine. But, these are mornings I can live with. Waking up with no agenda, only progress. Maybe finaly plant myself an occupation. Fall into some new routine- cook some pigs, hang some bells, simpily race some rats. God, I love cheese. But I relish in the taste of freedom.
I stowed away on a slave ship before. Trying to escape a land I saw unfit. Scared of the real world - I went underground. But, didn't enjoy the taste of dirt. So, I grinded my chains weak against concrete bricks at a Cathloic Hospital in downtown Hell. It was unsettling to hear the African healers say " Womans strife is drastic!"; in thier own tribal language that i so beautifully admired. It was so heavy that i prayed, so hard, while staying up all night. Staring out at digital hoorahhs, broadcast so bright it released my mind from the pain. I imagined myself strong and free enough to skate on the Devils ice, gliding effortlessly over the cold below without ever taking a plunge.
Now, i love the rattle of my bones as i walk. I stride the city with a 'shake- rattle- and roll'. Nodding to all the DB's and casually saying, "NAH"!
I find comfort in this. They can see a slave coming from a mile away. A constant reminder of where the wrong turn can leave. But, I'm no stranger to this foreign land. I wear the remnants like fabric of Judah on my sleeve. Don't fuc with me, I'm jaded! 
Wolves dressed as the most gentlest Sheep offer me tickets to reboard. They got em' right in thier pocket..But I got NO qualifications for being a sheppard. Catholics are always dying to be martyrs. NEWS FLASH- You are NOT the sacrifical Lamb! It would kill me to watch your mother pray! My Ma prays quietly. But i learned to SHOUT. Most people just pray to a screen on thier couch. I guess I'm gonna go kill my TV...

Its hard to stay focused when theres so much to think about. Tryin to stay grounded, literally. This stress is killin me. A million situations spoon fed thru sensitivity. I tried to have thick skin.  All's I do is huff and puff but i can't blow it outta my mind. 
Each day brings grays. Each grey's gotta name. They dye my crown. I think they're beautiful.  Acceptance is the key - this is how things are...
I triumphed thru life. Tested fate and kissed its cheeks - muah!

Birth gave me a strawberry heart to wear on my shoulder. I decorated the other with a string of flowers. They fade as i get older..  but Im'a plant some more soon. I turned the most bitter berry into the sweetest jam. I like the taste.

Hate me, but I won't let you starve. I got compassion for even the ugliest of things. That's why I wear a black wedding ring. I gave up on my prince. Even though he probally lives. Somewhere in a house with a wife and kids.

I made my legacy, I'm here and now. Is it so hard to dream? Yeah- I gotta keep my head outta the clouds and my feet on the mound. I guess I'll be this ships captain, I'll make sense outta this compass and keep my ship from running aground.

Our first taste of luxury came with a bitter bite. It was givin in form of blessing. Rememberance of a lost native fathers death. He lived life to the drop, in excesses. Thoroughly enjoying his pleasures.
We recieved part of his legacy, that lingered on for years. However quickly we spent his death's reward. I'm sure he was reveling in our splurges. Looking on and not saying, " Son wait! " , but smiling as he took it in , " Enjoy, for me...".
His gifts were divided - stolen by some. But we took this offer and ran with it! We drowned our sorrows in vain- literally. 


RIP - I picture you among the clouds. Glass of wine and a crown of leaves- have fun with the Gods my old friend- at least i wont ever be breaking my back  again to put you back in your chair!!