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cinder-ella
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18 years old
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 anglerfish!
Saturday, September 6, 2008 (5:28 AM)
(I'm feeling amused)
The angry-looking deep sea anglerfish has a right to be cranky. It is quite possibly the ugliest animal on the planet, and it lives in what is easily Earth's most inhospitable habitat: the lonely, lightless bottom of the sea.

There are more than 200 species of anglerfish, most of which live in the murky depths of the Atlantic and Antarctic oceans, up to a mile below the surface, although some live in shallow, tropical environments. Generally dark gray to dark brown in color, they have huge heads and enormous crescent-shaped mouths filled with sharp, translucent teeth. Some angler fish can be quite large, reaching 3.3 feet (1 meter) in length. Most however are significantly smaller, often less than a foot.

Their most distinctive feature, worn only by females, is a piece of dorsal spine that protrudes above their mouths like a fishing pole—hence their name. Tipped with a lure of luminous flesh this built-in rod baits prey close enough to be snatched. Their mouths are so big and their bodies so pliable, they can actually swallow prey up to twice their own size.

The male, which is significantly smaller than the female, has no need for such an adaptation. In lieu of continually seeking the vast abyss for a female, it has evolved into a permanent parasitic mate. When a young, free-swimming male angler encounters a female, he latches onto her with his sharp teeth. Over time, the male physically fuses with the female, connecting to her skin and bloodstream and losing his eyes and all his internal organs except the testes. A female will carry six or more males on her body.



awesome!



http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/fish/anglerfish.html
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 ugh.
Thursday, August 7, 2008 (9:09 PM)
(I'm feeling confused)
the chain around your neck
(did it begin just how
it started)
linking pieces together
to form something out of nothing,
to make a symbol of justice
or sex or love.

in front of me at the train station, 
a mother says to her daughters,
"i know, i am starving too, but,
nous devons attendre,"
and i think of how
i would love to be that mother
with her french-speaking daughters
and their french father.

something inside of me strains
against my eyes and the stress
makes them cry
but of their own accord
as i listen to your quiet laughter
recorded on old software.
i am the only one
who listens
in this empty room
where you met my family.

i give myself to you and your
one-word
reply
suffices and the climax of our relationship has been reached
and from here we can only tumble down into worthlessness
for surely this is going nowhere
at least that is what i must say to myself
each morning in the mirror
to assure myself that we have made
the correct decision.
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 a completely emo poem
Thursday, May 22, 2008 (7:46 PM)
(I'm feeling apathetic)
the most lovely





fingertips press the corners
dragging apart the mouth
tugging into pulling into tearing softly
the serration smooth as skinning
as sideways slicing cutlery into submissive flesh

and as she is pulled apart in all ways
she gives everything

one hand moves down
deliberately placing itself against the
beating heart she shuns
allowing her comfort no space
to breathe

and it presses deep
to take ahold of her heart
gripping it and wrenching it free from its cage
of delicate bones, protective useless ribs

she will not look on what she has been without
for as long as she can remember
physical destruction hardly as bad as
losing the intangible

how easily the arm
disconnects from the socket
with no resistance

will the bones break so easily
everywhere on her fragile frame
or only the places where she
has been lovingly touched

cutting had the right idea all along
though the beauty really lies in
utter emptiness, not general draining
not the partial riddance of a factor
but the complete rejection of all good

when she dies
it will be so
totally consuming, narcissistic
and self-actualizing
what can only be called
the single most lovely
piece of art
she will ever attend to


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