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| | The Balcony | | | Friday, August 8, 2008 (11:25 AM)
(I'm feeling annoyed) | | | i walked out on the front door balcony with foo-- let him go pee--and
sure enough a pedestrian walker---
an older guy--looking like he walked here straight from india--robe
and all--- froze in his steps down by my truck... this other lady just
kept walking--i think she was a bus driver heading to the bus place
he barked--- then walked around looking for a place to continue his pee which was abrubtly interuppted by said intruders---- then after the lady that walked by
him---kept walking---was like 50 yards away --- he ran after her--then
realized she didnt give a flying f*ck about him---and then he slinked
his way back up the stairs on his own--and by the time i got up there
he was half way laying down--with his ass on the ground and head
down--knowing he messed up----i took my flip flop off and gave him a
swift smack to his ass....
its funny cuz foo is such a strong solid dog that i know a flip flop smacking his ass causes no physical harm... only a bruised ego and im sure he is sad that he has disappointed me.
now he lays next to me in shame
he is back in training to retain his title as the best dog in the world.... right now--- he is just a dog. | | | 103 Views | 0  Thumbs Up | 0 Comments |  |
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| | We looked a tornado in the eye... and lived | | | | Monday, June 16, 2008 (12:33 PM) | | Yes, that's right.
Now that I am in the safety of our Detroit mothers home---Judy Judy Judy!!! I can now sit back and write a little blog about the insanity that was... yesterday
5.25.08
Were in the middle of Iowa. Better yet, were driving to the "venue"-- a cornfield in the middle of Iowa in a tiny town with maybe 1000 people that live in little houses on farms in the surrounding areas... the town was called carbon.
We stop at a gas station-- the only gas station before making the drive into carbon (nope--no gas station there)
I find some kids who look like potential show goers. I ask them and they say that is indeed where they are heading. 30 miles later, after following them into a lost oblivion, we get left in their dust as they were driving much too fast for our likes...and yes it was in dust---since all the roads at this point were made of gravel or dirt.
We stop and ask the only person we can find. A 5-year-old boy on an ATV doing donuts on the side of the road. We ask him for assistance and like the little red neck he was, he gave us his best directions into "town"--- clearly he was NO help.
Finally a few miles later we found a woman watering her mailbox. We told her we were looking for CARBON... her response " do you wanna take gravel?"
For those of you who don't know this... were from Los Angeles. We all got mildly excited at the thought of this amazing new drug we might have stumbled across.... alas she literally meant... do you want to drive on a gravel road? Seeing as how that was the ONLY road into the town of carbon, we took her directions... "Straight onto the gravel. Turn right at the dead end. Left when that dead-ends. And another left when that dead-ends. There is only business in carbon, you wont miss it"
Another 15 miles later and we had found the FESTIVAL.... perfect timing as well. The band before us was just starting and we were next.
Not expecting much, due to the location, we were quite surprised to find under the tent in the middle of BFE, a good amount of people, waiting to hear their next favorite metal band. awwwww yesssss--- metal!!! Been there...done that.
We set up real quick... it was hot and very HUMID. I knew things were gonna get bad when the soft serve drummer who played before us thought he was dying. I gave him a little smirk, reminded him he hardly even hit his drums and then told him to move his sh*t out of my way. He put his head down, was breathing heavy and looked as if he wanted to puke, pass out or just die. Quite entertaining to say the least when you gotta act like you gave it your all--- or maybe he did--and his all just wasn't all that much.... OK enough of me being a dickhead---- I was just put into a real bad mood (not sure how some people are naive enough to think that things just "go away and get better" and im taking it out on him...sorry man
I would also like to point out that the drum riser was nothing more then a couple tables next to each other. It gets better. The legs of these tables... on the left side, not all of them were even extending to the ground. It was an unlevel, rocky, dirt area. Some legs touched the ground, most did not. SAFE!!
So I got set up. I was already soaking wet with sweat. I walked over to the promoters tent... the same promoter from the night before who fails to understand what its like being a touring rock band--failing to feed us or do anything for us... and yes that continued into this conversation when I asked where the water was... (Let me remind you its about 100 degrees with 5000% humidity) and he says. " Ohhh I didn't get any water for the bands... there are a lot of bands playing... I have a lot of expenses.... there is no water"
This is of course where I said something " RUDE" like---- are you kidding me?? Do you realize how f*cking hot it is.... ??? You don't have WATER??? you're the promoter and you cant even provide your bands with water???--- He realized I wasn't stopping anytime soon and quickly offered me some of his
'Private stash' of water and pointed to less then 1/2 of a case (IE: 10 bottles)
I laughed and said don't worry about it man..... We will take care of ourselves...I grabbed a case of water that we keep on board our bus just for this kind of special occasion --- douchebagery de promoters... and placed them on the stage.
The rock show began... I don't think kids quite understood what was happening. I didn't have 2 kick drums... hell-- I didn't even have a double kick pedal. The crowd sat there with a look of shock for a few minutes but that quickly turned to relief and eventual excitement. We had a great show and I want to thank all the kids who had a good time with us... video to follow soon.
I went thru 10 bottles on my own behind the drums in our 30 minute set. It was very hot, very wet, and very exhausting. Homeboy before me playing drums had half the reason to be as wasted as he was trying to act like he was---the hot and humid weather... I provided the other half... running a marathon on stage in 30 minutes. We killed it. The kids were great!!!
As we loaded off--- my head turned to the sky. In the distance there were clouds. I let coatez and Sweeney know my predictions on the weather. SERIOUS RAIN coming very soon.... lets get our gear put away.
I went to the merch table and let them know that we should start our count out and prepare for rain.... the sun still shining, the weather still hot.
The band after us starting playing... bobaflex started unloading their gear to prepare to play next. I mentioned to Marty (guitar/ singer of bobaflex) that the rain was coming and to make sure he went and settled with the promoter before chaos ensued. The promoter had already mentioned to me that if it started raining- the show would be postponed- as I said before, the drum riser was made of tables, and I could only imagine the corners cut on the rest of the production expenses. Rain + electricity = not a good idea...
This is when all hell....... broke loose.
A few drops began to fall. Within minutes those random drops became a thunder, lightning, wind and hail storm within seconds. People running in every direction.... merch tables being knocked over.... the tent in which the show was being held was being lifted from the ground. It quickly turned into a mud pit. People falling to the ground, slipping and sliding, yelling... total chaos. The merch count out was quickly cancelled and everything was thrown into our tubs as rapidly as we could. Yanking the power on all the lights and cables that ran across our feet. The sound/ light guy ---- yeah BUMMMMMED
As all of his gear got destroyed in the torrential downfall...
I picked up the camera and attempted to film, but our tape had run out. Sweeney took on the task of trying to make it to the bus to get a new tape. He returned within a minute and looked as if he had not only been swimming in a pool fully clothed, but also looked like he was hanging in one of those spinner rides at a carnival which their only purpose is to make you throw up. He got the tape and I gave the camera to frost to start filming...
We made a " B " line for the bus with our merch (more appropriately known as an " I " line by Dane cook) slipping and sliding through the mud. Opening the trailer and just throwing everything in with little to no care of the pack. Then we got inside the van and accessed the situation. I sat in the drivers seat. Turned on the engine, defroster and lights.... within seconds Shaun from bobaflex said, " DONT even think about driving right now... BAD IDEA!!!!"
We collectively didn't know what we should do. Were used to sun and earthquakes out in LA... so we turned on the radio news and Sweeney went back inside to find out what we should do.
At this point things got really hectic and im not sure in what order or how we got what news...but I will do my best to interpret what I remember.
Sweeney jumped back in the van... he seemed calm but the news he shared was anything but calming. " A tornado has touched down 5 miles from us "- at the same time we heard the news on the radio confirming this... meanwhile as we were trying to help bobaflex get their gear back into their trailer --Marty from bobaflex was heard quoting the sheriff and shouting " everybody run for the ditch... were all gonna DIE!!!!!!!"
Determined to not go out that way.... I shoved the van in drive and was gonna get us out of there.... NO SOUP.... we had already sunk into the mud from our weight alone. We were not going anywhere unless it was up and around in the incoming tornado. lightning was striking all around us, on top of us, and the thunder was GINORMOUS!!!
The radio buzzed of tornado ALERT!!!!
Sweeney ran back inside to find out of there was a tornado shelter/ basement... what he discovered was even better... he runs inside and asks " what do we do? Where do we go? Is there a basement???" The person looks at him, turns and points to the bar " that's all there is left to do"
At the bar are some Iowans who have ultimately accepted their fate, their death, and were tilting their heads back--shot after shot---- drinking the misery and the pain away...
Meanwhile we were outside still trying to get the van and trailer unstuck... putting sticks and stones under the tires to try and grab traction... people were pushing and doing everything they could. The wind was crazy... the thunder and lightning was beautiful and beyond scary all at the same time...
Out of nowhere a 4X4 truck pulls up in front of us.... hitches a chain to us and with a little team effort, yanks us out of the mud and onto some gravel and we were free to drive... if we wanted to.
The saint behind the wheel of the 4X4 says " if you're gonna drive.... drive north...and drive fast... tornado is incoming"
I made sure we were all safely, yet muddy, in the van and drove off into the darkness of power outage. We seemed to stay with the lightning for an hour, and we got to witness and amazing light show.... we continued listening to the storm news and soon enough we made our way out of the storm.
Video and photos coming soon.....
I just got off the phone with my mother, she mentioned that on the news she saw the damage caused by the tornado. It was super close to us, and I want to send my condolences to those who weren't as fortunate as we were to escape fairly unscathed. Many died, many more lost their homes that were in the path of destruction. We drove away with an amazing story of yet another day on the road and in the life of The Bangkok Five.
~Blanco | | | | 136 Views | 1 Thumb Up | 1 Comment | |
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| | so. why not podcast? | | | | Monday, June 16, 2008 (12:32 PM) | | so as you all know--i enjoy writing random blogs---and just giving you all something to do while i keep myself from driving myself crazy...
with that said ...
we have created KOK radio.... yeah yeah yeah--- ok--ill take credit--- it was my idea---i hate talking too---so give me a break---
but we have a new podcast that we are going to attempt to keep fresh----new music-- old music-- lots of chatter-- lots of stories---- but most importantly--- yeah i lied--theres nothing most important--
KOK radio--
http://httpwwwthebangkokfivemeviocom.mevio.com/
check it out--- give a listen--- come back and let me know what ya think....
boring? good listen? what do you wanna know about?
id personally love to have my own radio program--- do whatever i want--play whatever i want--- so i guess i kinda am just gonna do that..
so were in ft wayne indiana---- and there isnt much more to say about that..
i want to give a shout out to a guy i met today by the name of paul. just returned from iraq---army--- him and i talked for quite some time. like i told him--i do NOT envy your job---but i respect that you do it... i just wish it was under different circumstances...
we rocked tonight---obviously :)
hope to see you all soon.... and again
much love
from the road!!!!
~blanco
PS--i know our talking is really quiet-- im learning as i go-- the next 2 episodes are already sounding way better and im getting he hang of it... i would have fixed this episode but upon editing---i deleted this whole damn thing once i started working on part 2... so give me a GOD damn break!!!!!! geeeeeezzzzzz--- oh and... SUCK IT | | | | 160 Views | 0 Thumbs Up | 0 Comments | |
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| | Please Welcome THRUST Drums | | | Monday, June 16, 2008 (12:31 PM)
(I'm feeling cheerful) | | | good morning everyone.
I wanted to share some exciting news with all of you. In the last few weeks I was looking for a new direction, a new inspiration, a new drum company. And I found it.
THRUST DRUMS
myspace.com/thrustdrums
After seeing the drums alone I knew it would be a perfect fit for what I do.....
After sitting behind a couple kits in their showroom in pasadena I knew it was ment to be.
A big special thanks to Mario and Toby and the entire Thrust family. I look forward to what lies ahead for us both. And of course, a big thanks to Jason Upright of The Faded Spades for introducing me to Thrust.
"Sex, Drums & Rock and Roll" or of course my future THRUST campaign slogan
"SIZE MATTERS" :)
If you want to see and hear some bad ass drums---- check them out.... would I play anything less than stellar?????? mmmmmmkkkkueyyyy
They look amazing in our new video.....and you can even get a sneak of me playing them at a
We Love What Kills Us
http://vlaze.com/144439/
Party Machine
http://vlaze.com/144440/
This One's For The Haters
http://vlaze.com/144442/
or better yet come out to a show near you .
ON TOUR NOW!!!!
Thanks Biatches!!!!
<3 Blanco | | | | 162 Views | 0 Thumbs Up | 0 Comments | |
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| | but what does it mean? | | | Monday, June 16, 2008 (12:30 PM)
(I'm feeling amused) | | | good morning class....
i set out to write a blog for my favorite people in the world.... YOU who reads it.....
then i realized--- im way too happy and i dont have much to say...
So, allow me to begin by saying Thanks for putting up with my death, suicide attempts, going to jail, chasing the love of my life, writing disturbingly awful songs, experiencing my master cleanse, reading my mindless banter and more or less..... finding the other side somewhat unscathed. I live for me.... and i have no regret in allowing you into my life. Somethings probably should remain private while others should remain unmentioned again forever--- to quote one of--if not the best quote ever--- by warren beatty in madonnas movie way back when---
"There’s nothing to say off-camera. Why would you say something if it’s off-camera? What point is there existing? "
For all of you that have joined me occasionally, or those who read every word ( even those of you who overanalyze everything i say) i promise you--- this journey is only beginning....
please form a line--- the wild ride is about to begin.....
please never keep your arms or legs inside--- but merely listen and live---
lots of exciting news in the works----
here is what i do know--
today is monday---march 31st. i am hungry. john lennon is playing on my itunes. my recording studio is being built finally. my iphone rules...and the new update in the months to come is gona make it my favorite piece of technology yet. i play drums. i play drums alot. i play guitar. i play guitar alot. i havent played xbox recently and in fact when i tried to--- i got the red ring of death--- bob marley is bad ass--- did i mention im hungry---- my kings are in last place--- at least we get first round draft choice for next season... i need to clean my house--- i reay need to figure things out before we leave on tour-- felix is my hero--- he has lasted through more record cycles than any other cunt.... and he is still happy to see me when i come home. walker is rad!!!! but even your ass failed me once upon a time.... better luck next time :P
my favorite hat is my new black jager hat--- i have an invention idea---anyone wanna help? --- if there is a point in ones life that you realize the other person is just lame, useless, waste of time, lying, promising more than they realize, or they just continually drop the ball again and again---- what are you to do? i dont understand how some people remain in business...
here is what i do not know--
i am in search for a new drum company... im looking for the perfect companion to expand my wings and support my ass for a lonnnnggg time.... yup--ill be playing for a bit-- what should i eat? hmmmm--- thats about it--- i pretty much know EVERYTHING else...
if im into lesbians---- does that make me gay?
pink triangle on her sleeve!!!!!!!!!
seriously--- who wants to go to costa rica and visit my beach front property before its ---- the beach---- 7 times the size of manhatten ice glacier gone?? hmmmm probably not global warming--- we couldnt do that...
good run planet----we had fun!
wait--i probably shouldnt mention global warming--- i might get someone starting a debate with me about how we should all turn our air conditioners on to help cool down the world----or something equally entertaining...
how about one of these:
Besides your mouth, where is your favorite spot to get kissed?
stay the F*ck away from my ears.....
Were you happy when you woke up today?
no--- that required waking up again
How about now?
i was until you reminded me i had to wake up
Do you eat candy on a daily basis?
i hardly EAT on a daily basis--- let alone candy
Who was the last person you ate with?
hmmm late tasty treats with my 6 top friend.
Are you currently taking a science class in school?
am i currently in school? NO--- am i currently giving a class--- YES!!! the class of kick yo ass left or right cheek..
Kiss on the first date?
hardly ever kiss---- youll be blowing me before youre kissing me :X whooooops..
Would you rather have chicken or steak?
would you rather me murder your mom or your child?
What were you doing at 10 am?
in my bed office... on computer, emails and the space--- phone calls shortly after
Are you different now than you were six months ago?
ha--- you can say that again.
Are you different now than you were six months ago?
OK--i wasnt really serious about saying that again--- but since you did--- 8 months or so ago i thought for sure i was dead--- ohh wait-- i was dead--- but i thought i woudl no longer live--- here i am-- a changed man-- for the better-- stronger--smarter--and more retarded than ever!!!!
What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
some might consider sperm a beverage--- however if im not counting that.... it mustve been bong water for sure!!!
How old will you be in 10 months?
10 months older then i am today
Who was the last person to text you?
shame on me???? is it really my fault i forget to eat?? if oly text could provide food
What month is your birthday in?
july
Can you live a day without tv?
i could live a life without TV--- i can watch LOST and my Kings games on the internet anyways...
When was the last time you saw your dad?
hmmm-- interesting question-- not really sure-- i think i saw him on xmas--- i imagine i have seen him since then-- but then again maybe not?
How many pets do you have?
Felix & charlie blue.... once upon a time i had the joy of repairing holes in carpet, holes in walls, cleaning piss stains on every square inch of the carpet, and constatly puppy proofing the house and backyard to avoid an escape-- but ever since my ex dissapeared( with both the little guilty parties) i get no such joy in my life anymore---
How many houses have you lived in?
what the hell kind of question is this? i have owned 4 houses... i have lived in many houses----
How many city/towns have you lived in?
you name it--- ive lived there at least one night
Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
shoes with socks--- over my bare feet
What is your favorite color?
black
What are you doing for your next birthday?
why wait for my next birthday--- im celebrating my UNbirthday right now!!!!!!!
What are you thinking about right now?
GIN--UNbirthday events- pink floyd-- bad breath--- eating--- how sore my shoulders are
Any plans for next weekend?
gotta make it thru the week first
Do you smile a lot?
not much.... :)
Have you ever had a life-threatening injury?
does swimming underwater in a swimming pool until you stop breathing and your heart stops beating count?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
ohh man--- what an exciting question? first off-- when i first ever heard this question--- i dont think my answer has or will ever change---- i dont ever want to grow up...i play with my toys, and i play my games, i have my fun and it keeps me sane--- i could throw it all away and forget what ive done--- but the day i start growing up is the day i no longer have any fun....
Do you like flying or driving?
i like trying to fly while driving---if only for half a second-- those railroad tracks make a sickkkk jump
Do you know how to drive a stick shift?
hmmmm--- i have attempted to teach plenty----
What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
music- movies--food- --- other than that-- i dont really like to spend money
Do you wear any jewelry daily?
i wear my cuffs every day.... and i wear an anklet my father gave me the day i took my final karate test... august 22 1991... and its still on. i have some rings in my nipples and belly button---
Who got you the jewelry you are currently wearing?
shut up
Who is the funniest person you know?
i dont know anyone funny anymore
How often do you remember your dreams?
never--except the other night i woke up and was being arrested for something i didnt do---- ohhh wait--- it wasnt a dream--- and it was still something i didnt do
Skim, 1%, 2%, or whole milk?
rice over soy
Are you mad about anything?
these prices are INSANE!!!!!! im mad--- argggggggg
What time did you go to sleep last night?
whtever time it was my eyes closed and didnt open again--- i would gues sthat was when i fell asleep
Have you dated anyone this year?
i dont date--- just bang smurfs--- well-- not hefty smurf- hes not my type
Who was the last friend in your house?
i dont have friends- and if i had friends i would do them the justice of never inviting them to my ghetto---- or maybe last night?
Have you ever had chicken pox?
im vegitarian
How’s your ex doing?
you should ask her- i dont know to be honest with you. last time i heard from her she was telling me to F off and grow up and stop being a faggot and some other choice words......more reason for me to find the answer to the question pre Pink triangle..
Is there someone you want to fight?
mike tyson circa 87
What shirt were you wearing when your last kiss took place?
pretty sure i was shirtless
Song playing right now?
one in a million just ended---- the boy with a thorn in his side by the smiths just started... hahah how appropriate
What are you doing tomorrow?
whatever i feel like doing--
Does anyone like you?
i dunno--- lets see ---
HEY--DOES ANYONE LIKE ME??? this question doesnt clarify in what capacity the definition of LIKE is--- so--- if you like me to any extent of the definition--- tell me you like me--- otherwise-- nahhh--nobody likes me :(
Where were you last night?
outerspace for a little bit--- but then i came back home and played some fun games before heading over to alaska---but i got back late last night
Where were you at noon yesterday?
NOT GUILTY
Are you married?
near miss--- i almost got sniped for sure
Have you been outside of the U.S.
here and there
Do you wish at 11:11?
yes-- i wish for it to be 11:12--- Son of a bitch---i get my wish EVERY TIME--- it takes the douchebag genie about a minute though..
Next vacation you’re going on?
tour!!!! check dates
Do you have any piercings?
yup--- my throat-- my little toes--- the webbing between my thumb and forefinger, and my armpit
Who did you last hug who wasn’t in your family?
julie
What’s something you really want right now, be honest.
dinner with a smurf
Do you love anyone?
love? its over rated...
What color is your hair?
black
What do you hear?
my stomach--- voices--- they used to be annoying--- but i have learned to understand them--- they have been quite helpful lately
Do you find yourself loved?
thats hawwwt
What’s the closest blue object to you?
this blue massssssasger--- not sure if its a sex toy or not--- but it feels good on the back and shoulders
What is your natural hair color?
black
What are you really excited for?
tour/ record release/ the day people arent retarded( and i dont mean the people that are actually retarded- they have carteblanche to be who they are)
What were you doing at 8am this morning?
sleeeeeeping-- no wait---- i was listening to an alarm clock go off---snooze button--- alarm--snooze button-- alarm---- snooze button-alar--me "WTF???????? get up already JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!"
What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
pretty sure i have been working on this god damn sorry ass survey for the last hour..
What are you wearing?
Puma pants
Are you mad at anyone right now?
me
Last person to say they loved you?
my ex--- real unconditional right?
Last person to send you a text?
i swear to god i already answered this--- the answer however has changed----
What is your middle name
joseph
Do you have a crush on anyone?
hmmm--alicia silverstone was the last crush i remember having--- ohh wait--- jonny from radiohead too-- but that was way back when pablo honey came out..
Are you good at math?
i count for a living--what do you think?
Do you have plans on Saturday night?
today is monday--- i have to figure out last night first
Do you draw your name in the sand while your at the beach?
no-- thats simply a waste of time-- who wants to make their mark where they know it will be erased
Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
quite often
Do you like the ocean?
sure do-- lived on in while making the home town hero record ( morning view- same house as incubus) i hated the beach prior to this--- now i own beach front in CR baby!!!!! ohhh-- and the oceanic 6 are pretty rad too.
Would you stay friends with your ex’s?
i always tried too.... no reason in sharing your life together and then trying to act like it never happened--- each one of those girls in my life had a helping hand in making me who i am now.... i appreciate knowing and understanding my roots...
Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
my grandma -dads side--- thats all folks
Where do you keep your change?
under my dogs food bowl--- good luck stealing it
What was the weather like on your birthday?
drunk
Would you kiss someone on your top friends?
id think about it--- of course most of my top friends are my band mates--- do they count???? that would be way too easy....
According to your ex, you are?
"a selfish f*cking faggot, needing to grow balls to tell her who sold her out, who if ever decides to grow up can maybe talk to her again."
Do you tell your best friend EVERYTHING?
thats what friends are for right?? last time i checked i pretty much tell all of you EVERYTHING... hey BFF!!!!!!
When was the last time you talked to your number 2?
daily
Something you say often:
suck it
Have you ever cried and didn’t know why?
kinda like daniel on LOSt???? thats rad!!!
What are you wearing on your feet?
nothing
Last person you talked to on IM?
my agent
Do you like your name?
do you like your face?
What phone do you have?
i-dik
Do you have feelings for anyone, and if so, do they know?
animals have feelings--- and they are feeling up my stomach
Things you first notice about the opposite sex?
how good they suck dick
Last time you were disappointed:
today
Are you happy at the moment?
dinner with smurf is about to occur--- yeah im pretty gay
its about time im done--- i seriously need to get back to work
much love from this side of Los Angeles County.....
~ray blanco | | | | 125 Views | 0 Thumbs Up | 0 Comments | |
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| | 8 days | | | Monday, June 16, 2008 (12:29 PM)
(I'm feeling chipper) | | " life is not a movie. Everyone lies, good guys lose, and LOVE does not conquer all"
is it possible to feel most alive when you are closest to dying? enough being negative nancy!!!! i fucked a girl named nancy once... or twice.... or maybe a whole mess of times.. god damn cabbage!!!!
besides--- michael jackson has a new record out today....or yesterday---- the re-release of THRILLER--- 25th aniversary or some crap....
quincy jones is bad ass... i just wrote him an email.
europe is pretty cool--- im debating getting skype so i can flirt with all my friends over the pond....
i am too tired to fight.
too tired to tell her NO
too tired to tell you YES
too tired to try-
too tired to stop you and all the tears you cry.
you cut me off. then you ask me how i can go?
8 days? give me a break
stop playing with my life
there is only so much i can take
i feel like throwing up some more--- anyone wana join? it should be some serious projectile vommitting-------im pretty good at it :)
i can only prolong the inevitable
"do you need anybody?
i need somebody to love!
could it be anybody?
i want somebody to love!"
ok---- im gonna go get dizzy..... drink some fizzy...... and use some sharp knizzzys
stop calling and pretending to care. stop writing to tell me of your nightmare.
i am on the other end of that ringing phone. i am the person who makes you feel so alone.
you really shouldve seen my face.... for the first time, in a long time, i was really happy.......
i like it.
i understand.
i like it.
i like it.i like it.i like it.i like it.i like it.i like it.i like it.i like it.i like it.i like it.i like it. i
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| | i wanna be your lover | | | Monday, June 16, 2008 (12:27 PM)
(I'm feeling awake) | | yeah-- prince is on as i decided to write this-- lets see where it goes---
i just got home from an exciting evening at a little place we have come to know as "the wasko facility"
lets just say it had something to do with poker, rock band, mexican food and me winning some money.
does anyone recall the scene from fight club.... ed norton is describing his perfect ikea home---- and BAMMMMM it blows to smithereeeeensss..
i come home from an evening out.
if i were to light a match---or im guessing rb t sticks together just right--- there was enough gas in my house to blow it to kingdom come---- apparantly mystery room mate guy cooked something up and decided to leave the gas form the stove running--- i wouldnt be suprised if he was dead from the fumes--- but im to annoyed to even check--- i opened up all the doors and windows---its fricken freezing----- and i still have a head ache...
soooo
im realizing something in my life---i think on my solo car ride home alone--hence==solo----
do i care to share it with you right now--- no- probably not--- do you even wanna know----probably not---- its just messed up little thoughts that go on in my head and i have no control over--- but every day is another piece to my life puzzle--- i think i almost have the border complete----
i have the best song in my brain-----
the words--- though not even written----- are pretty intense---
i do not believe there is a song written that capsulates the emotions in my little crazy brain at this moment---
however--- time is runing out just came on-----
i refuse to surrender
<<<<ou say I'm looking really bad, you say I'm looking really sick
And I don't even care I never really did
So when push comes to shove and I slap you in the face
Just remember one thing...
When its time to fill the void my whole life has been destroyed
And everyone around me says my time is running out
I refuse to surrender, I refuse to surrender
So when I'm out of control and I'm out of my mind
Just remember one thing, I think I'm just fine
So catch me when I fall, I won't remember anything at all
So catch me when i fall...
When its time to fill the void my whole life has been destroyed
and everyone around me says my time is running out
I refuse to surrender, i refuse to surrender
Woaho woaho yeah yeah woaho woaho yeah yeah
When its time to fill the void my whole life has been destroyed
and everyone around me says my time is running out
When its time to fill the void my whole life has been destroyed
and everyone around me says my time is running out
I refuse to surrender i refuse to surrender i refuse surrender
I refuse to surrender >>>
pretty appropriate...
who wants to go to a kings game?
snowboarding? i quit snowboarding in 1999 when i realized--it i fell and broke my arm or wrist--my career would be pretty bummed----- but i wanna go---so--- im gonna..
please please please--- james brown-- yeah---- pretty bad ass---
Please, please, please, please me (You don't have to go)
Baby please, baby please, please me (You don't have to go)
Baby please, baby please don't go (You don't have to go)
Don't go, I said baby, don't baby
I love you so (You don't have to go)
Baby, you know you broke my heart when you went away (You don't have to go)
I said, I said, I said I'll see you some other day (You don't have to go)
I said, baby, baby, please, don't go (You don't have to go)
Don't go, no baby, no baby
I love you so (You don't have to go)
Take this pain from my heart
Baby, let me take you by the hand (You don't have to go)
Baby, baby let me, let me be your lover man (You don't have to go)
Baby please, baby please don't go (You don't have to go)
Don't go, I said baby, don't baby
I love you so (You don't have to go)
Please, please, please, please me (You don't have to go)
Baby please, baby please, please me (You don't have to go)
Baby please, baby please don't go (You don't have to go)
Don't go, I said baby, don't baby
I love you so (You don't have to go)
Please please me
whats my problem?
is life supposed to have answers?
or just questions....
whoa--- very weird----
i song called questions just came on--by my old band home town hero----and i oddly enough am wearing the sweatshirt---- i have never worn it ever before--- :) weird---
anyways--- i think i just needed to write some stuff ----not that any of this makes sense---but it makes me feel better----- and thats what counts---
im gonna go ahead and go downstairs and light a match now---- if i live--- im gonna bring fight club upstairs and watch it--- i intend on seeing the sunrise for the 4th night/ morning in a row---
youre a pirate for a day
you took my life away
look me in the face
burning my brigade
i need more then i can say
a diamond was your need
youll burn eternally
its over then youll see
running ot the door
i gave everything but you wanted more
gona let you fall on your face
you prooved to be a disgrace
i never felt so good
knowing that i should
but ill be knocking on your door
something happened in my head i lost my sense of dread
the thing that scared me most in life was living, now im dead.
baby ---you know i tried---
thats why i still ask why...
in between my sobs and sighs
i cry
suicide.
and then this came on after i posted my bulletin..
We're playing those mind games together
Pushing the barriers, planting seeds
Playing the mind guerrilla
Chanting the mantra, peace on earth
We all been playing those mind games forever
Some kinda druid dudes lifting the veil
Doing the mind guerrilla
Some call it magic, the search for the grail
Love is the answer and you know that for sure
Love is a flower, you got to let it, you got to let it grow
So keep on playing those mind games together
Faith in the future, outta the now
You just can't beat on those mind guerrillas
Absolute elsewhere in the stones of your mind
Yeah we're playing those mind games forever
Projecting our images in space and in time
Yes is the answer and you know that for sure
Yes is surrender, you got to let it, you got to let it go
So keep on playing those mind games together
Doing the ritual dance in the sun
Millions of mind guerrillas
Putting their soul power to the karmic wheel
Keep on playing those mind games forever
Raising the spirit of peace and love
Love...
(I want you to make love, not war, I know you've heard it before)
--me personally---- i just want to take a deep breathe-- you know--one of those breathes when everything is ok in your soul--- in you rmind-- in your life--- you take a breathe and you are at ease--- i havent had one of those in months---
and then maybe---- just maybe--- i will sleep
forever. | | | | 119 Views | 0 Thumbs Up | 0 Comments | |
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