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| | My Boss Has A Helicopter | | | Wednesday, July 16, 2008 (5:26 PM)
(I'm feeling Blackhawk Down!) | | My boss owns a helicopter to take him around town or home or to meetings. It sets off every car alarm in the parking lot during take off and landing which is generally pretty funny as long as you aren't in the parking lot at the time. If you are in the lot during a take off or landing you will probably sustain major hearing loss, but since we have free medical coverage, I guess it's a risk most of us are willing to take on a daily basis.
Doing some really simple math during lunch my coworkers and I figured out the helicopter probably dumps about
140 metric tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere a year, if it's used twice a day which is about the same as 150 Hummers driving 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for a year. And this made us think.
Why does no one complain about helicopters flying into the Grand Canyon constantly? And how would people react if a convoy of 150 Hummers were seen driving down the Canyon? It's the same thing, ecologically. FInancially the convoy of Hummers could carry more people thus make more money. And then we thought some more.
Why is everyone screaming at we the people to 'go green' when most homes average 15,000 metric LITRES of carbon dioxide every year? Good Christ, I could leave my house lit up like a Christmas tree all year and wouldn't even come close to 150 Hummers or 1 Helicopter!
Thus at the end of lunch we made a pact--we promised none of us would ever buy a fleet of 150 Hummers or 1 Helicopter...but if the boss ever offers anyone of us a lift home in his whirly bird, we will not refuse! | | | 256 Views | 0  Thumbs Up | 0 Comments |  |
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| | OMFG Rickman Again...and again...and again...and again...and | | | Friday, July 11, 2008 (9:04 PM)
(I'm feeling Glad Snape died) | | He has to be stalking me. Why else is he at the same functions all the fucking time? Here, London...bet if I went to a function in Uzbekistan at the request of the CIA he would be the first person I see.
I gave him the stink eye. I hope to Christ it worked.
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| | Proud to Die for your Shitty Gas Mileage | | | Monday, June 30, 2008 (4:40 PM)
(I'm feeling Very 1st Amendment) | | Yeah so I'm exhausted. I stayed up all night on the attack. From 1 AM to 5AM we stuck cards in gas tanks of SUVs and Soccer Mom Vans thoughout the suburbs. The cards show pictures of local service men and women who have died in the Iraq War. The cards say "I was proud to die for your shitty gas mileage."
A ream of cardstock: $20.00
Color Printer Cartridge: $24.00
Making American consumer whores who think cheap gas prices for their 8 mile per gallon Hummers is an inalienable human right feel like the assholes: Priceless!
We did it while they slept. They didn't hear us in their safe upper class neighborhoods all night long...because we rode bicycles.
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| | Why I Still Love New York | | | Sunday, June 22, 2008 (5:52 PM)
(I'm feeling I Heart NY) | | Well, it isn't home yet but I still love it after nearly five years. Why?
Gray's Papaya: A full meal for three bucks and change.
The Yankees: Still suck but I can make people here mad as hell when I say that. In Providence and Boston people would just agree with me.
The Kicks: I can say they suck here and people will agree with me, just like they did in Providence and Boston.
The Strand Bookstore: Need a copy of some rare, piece of crap out of print book? They have a dozen copies, easy.
Waterfalls: They are building four fucking waterfalls in NYC! In Providence they built 12 Mr. Potato Heads...which got vandalized...because they were stupid...and, well, because they were dumb ass Mr. Potato Heads.
Famous People Are Normal: So I came home from a Billy Joel concert in Connecticut on the ferry and guess who was on the ferry? Billy Joel. He was going home too. He sat down and talked to us for most of the ferry ride back, just a regular guy going home after work. Since the company I work for owns, among other things, Radio City Music Hall, I get to see famous people pretty often. But they are just eating a sandwich, waiting for the elevator or reading the paper. In LA they are loud and annoying and obnoxious...but in NY only crazy people and cab drivers act that way. Maybe because in LA they are "stars" and in NY they are "famous." Ray's Pizza and Nathan's Hot Dogs are also "famous" so I think that puts things in perspective here.
The Ocean: The Atlantic is gray and dark and scary. It stinks like seaweed and salt. It reminds you that around here it is the boss. The Pacific is blue and warm and happy. It makes you think that it's like a kiddie pool, then sucks you in and drowns you. Oh yeah, and there is still supposed to be pirate treasure buried on Long Island, not like Cape Cod where all the treasure is already found or a lie.
Live Music: Live music in NY is like, really live with musicians playing instruments. Live music in most of Providence was a DJ spinning records. Providence did have Gruvis Malt and Boston has a lot of kick ass indie bands, so I guess that's a wash.
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| | Not Surprising | | | Monday, May 26, 2008 (8:48 PM)
(I'm feeling nom nom nom) | | Alan Rickman is a bit boring when you talk to him for more than 20 minutes or so...not really surprising that he tends to pontificate about his craft and not much else. I was hoping he'd be more worldly and less "Please dear baby Jesus, let me get out of here before I have to stifle a yawn" but that's life. He probably thought I was a boring little shit as well, but it's hard to be interesting to someone when they bore you. I did play some mind games throughout the conversation, making up little rhymes about Severus Snape and rape and apes which most likely made me look as though I was actually interested in what he was saying.
He really isn't all that bad looking for a guy in his sixties so I did have something pleasant to look at whilst I was being bored. | | | | 154 Views | 0 Thumbs Up | 0 Comments | |
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| | My Old Friends Won't Friend Me | | | Wednesday, May 21, 2008 (5:01 PM)
(I'm feeling cynical) | | I dare say things are interesting on Live Video for me now. I was in jeopardy of being fair-gamed and namefagged by the Co$ and in an interest to protect my anonimity, I deleted my old channel. No big deal really, I had a core group of watchers and my videos were mostly absurdities that were not meant to amuse anyone but myself.
However, I don't think I'm so good at disguising who I am that no one from my old channel would not recognise me on the new channel...but they don't. All my "friends" from the old channel will not friend me now. Is it channel name that seems a bit 'sketchy' or is it the profile picture? Got me, but I sort of like it this way.
A no name person with a no name channel on a no name video site.
"Jesus saves...the rest of the party takes damage." | | | | 129 Views | 0 Thumbs Up | 0 Comments | |
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