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| | Haunted by the 70's Part Deux | | | Friday, November 20, 2009 (5:14 PM)
(I'm feeling amused) | | And so it continues....
If you didn't see my blog from April of this year, or are like me -- forgetful! -- it might be a good idea to take a look, because this is "Haunted by the 70's" Part Deux. lol
On November 8, I flew to Vancouver, British Columbia on business -- approximately 2200 miles. Guess what came along for the ride? Yes, the decanter set. LOL On the 10th of November, I flew to Kelowna, British Columbia -- approximately another 275 miles, with the decanter set safely packed in bubble wrap and inside a foam-lined box and then into the suitcase in the midst of the travel wardrobe. I had a plan....
I had a lovely 6-day visit with my friend. We hiked down a waterfall, looked at some heritage homes for sale that appeared to have potential, spent a day shopping for nothing in particular, and took in a Christmas craft sale. Add to that lots of food, wine and laughter, and I'd say it was a wonderful holiday. But I still had a plan....
The night before I left, I woke at about 4 a.m. Everyone was sleeping soundly. I had been told that I could put my things in a lovely little night table instead of living out of the suitcase for the week, but I didn't bother. Guess where the foam-lined box containing the bubble-wrapped decanter ended up? I opened the bottom drawer ever so quietly, and placed it gently as far back as I could. Then I wrote a little note, "The 'Sperm and Egg Decanter Set' has returned!! You're IT!"
I waited until later that morning when I was ready to head through security at the airport. As we hugged goodbye, I whispered, "Check the bottom drawer of the night table when you get home." I know -- pure evil!! LOL
The email telling me that it would someday come back to haunt me was already waiting when I arrived home. LOL
So the decanter set that has travelled across the Province of Ontario, to numerous places in British Columbia, back to Ontario, and then back to BC again will no doubt be returned to me in some creative manner. I just might have to Google-map it's travels over the years.
I guess I'd better get thinking about how to return it next time. Oh there will be a next time! I'm sure of that! ;)
| | | 18 Views | 6  Thumbs Up | 3 Comments |  |
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| | A few more for mikeversion1.0 :) | | | Wednesday, October 28, 2009 (7:54 PM)
(I'm feeling inebriated) | | A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman."
The priest said, "What do you mean, 'almost'?"
'The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."
The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box."
The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that.You didn't put any money in the poor box!"
The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!"
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A religious young woman went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned..."
The priest said. "Confess your sins and be forgiven."
The young woman said, "Last night, my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times."
The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice."
The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"
The priest replied, "No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face."
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An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:
Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times."
Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man: "What sins?"
Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?!"
Man: "I'm Jewish."
Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"
Man: "I'm 92 years old .... I'm telling everybody!"
| | | | 28 Views | 8 Thumbs Up | 4 Comments | |
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| | Aphorisms | | | Tuesday, October 20, 2009 (4:52 PM)
(I'm feeling amused) | | This came to me today in an email. I thought it too good not to share.
APHORISM: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH; ADAGE
1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humour, you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9.. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for the wrong number at 4 am - it could be the right number.
13. No one ever says "It's only a game." when their team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old men and old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies ! ) No! Say it isn't so!
18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Yaris.
19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!
This is my favorite one.
Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind, and the ones that mind, don't matter.
| | | | 19 Views | 6 Thumbs Up | 3 Comments | |
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| | Vatican Humour | | | Saturday, October 10, 2009 (3:34 PM)
(I'm feeling amused) | |
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'
'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'
'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kph... (Remember, the Pope is German...)
'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.
'I don't think we want to do that.. He's really important.' said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!'
'No, I mean REALLY important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: ' A senator?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's God!'
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'
Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'
| | | | 39 Views | 6 Thumbs Up | 3 Comments | |
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| | For mikeversion1.0 :) | | | Saturday, October 10, 2009 (12:54 PM)
(I'm feeling amused) | | While shopping for groceries, two nuns happened to pass by the beer cooler. One nun said to the other, "Wouldn't a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?"
The second nun answered, "Indeed it would Sister, but I wouldn't feel comfortable buying beer as I am certain that it would cause a scene at the check-out counter."
"I can handle that without a problem," the first nun replied as she picked up a six-pack and headed for the check-out.
The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer. "We use beer for washing our hair," the nun said. "A shampoo, of sorts, if you will."
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks and placed them in the bag with the beer. He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled and said, "The curlers are on the house."
| | | | 33 Views | 6 Thumbs Up | 3 Comments | |
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| | Important Information for Laptop Users | | | Thursday, August 27, 2009 (5:13 PM)
(I'm feeling surprised) | | An online news article caught my attention today, and I thought I'd pass along the information just in case LV's laptop users missed it.
A laptop user in British Columbia, Canada, was killed in a fire caused by his overheated laptop. The laptop was left on a couch, plugged in and turned on. On the soft surface, the laptop didn't get the ventilation it needed and in less than an hour, the lithium-ion battery overheated, burst into flames, and sparked the fire that took the man's life.
Some safety recommendations were issued by the coroner's office.
-- Always operate your laptop on a hard surface that allows ventilation.
-- If you must have it on a soft surface, look into a heat-sink base to maintain cooling.
-- Always shut down your laptop, even for short periods of time. A good practice is to set your power management to automatically shut your laptop down after a reasonable period of inactivity.
-- Check and clean the air vents weekly. Canned air, available at hardware or electronics stores works wonderfully to keep the vents clean. I have two cats -- I KNOW! ;)
-- Check your manufacturer's website for additional safety tips, recommended maintenance, and any recall notices.
AND, if you don't have a laptop and think you've got nothing to worry about, these other items have also caused fires by short-circuiting or overheating: personal computers, DVD players, and cellphone chargers.
Remember everyone -- PLAY SAFE!! :)
| | | | 100 Views | 3 Thumbs Up | 3 Comments | |
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| | My Birthday Blog | | | Monday, August 24, 2009 (9:04 AM)
(I'm feeling happy) | | Another year has come and gone – sometimes too quickly, and at other times not fast enough. I was sitting here this morning thinking back over some of the more memorable birthdays of my lifetime. None of them are memorable because of huge celebrations or big ticket items. As my family will tell you, I’ve always been content with a card and a cake. The birthdays that stand out in my mind are those made special by friends and the special things that they do -- the year that my very dear friend loaded the back of her car with “snow” from the Zamboni at the local arena and deposited it in my yard so I didn’t have to wait to try out my new skis; my office friends who planned and schemed to make up for the fact that I wasn’t there for my 50th, and created a very memorable 50+1 birthday. I am always humbled by the fact that people take the time to do these things for me. They take my breath away!
This year is another of those “memorable birthdays”. The dear, sweet friends who spent their time creating beautiful, captivating, hilarious videos for me; the dear, sweet friends who showered me with gift shop items and well wishes – it’s because of YOU that this day, this year, will be added to my list of most memorable. I can’t thank you enough.
You know, for all its trials and tribulations, LiveVideo is still a wonderful place to be – a community of talented, amazing people that I have come to consider “Friends”. I look forward to many more years spent right here with all of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to do so.
Much love,
Lynn
xoxoxo
| | | | 64 Views | 26 Thumbs Up | 14 Comments | |
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| | Canadian Copyright Laws -- they are a changin'! | | | Sunday, July 26, 2009 (3:57 PM)
(I'm feeling apprehensive) | | For all of the LVidians north of the border, if you haven't already heard, please take note -- our federal government is exploring Canadian Copyright Laws again.
Please check out the information at the links provided, and get involved!! We have an opportunity to have our say. Don't waste it. This could have a huge impact on what we love to do.
Copyright Consultations - this is the official government site on the subject.
Speak Out On Copyright - this is a free public service web site provided by Michael Geist, that is tracking and interpreting the whole process.
Read what you can, and make your opinion known via these sites that have been provided for just that.
Thank you!
| | | | 55 Views | 0 Thumbs Up | 1 Comment | |
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