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| | How to Save the Airlines | | | Friday, July 11, 2008 (8:09 AM)
(I'm feeling optimistic) | | Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.
Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- they don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?
The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.
Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.
This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.
| | | 7 Views | 0  Thumbs Up | 0 Comments |  |
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| | Why Sentence Structure is So Important | | | Thursday, June 12, 2008 (6:26 AM)
(I'm feeling contemplative) | | The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people: Debra or Jack.
It was an impossible decision because they were both great workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.
Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin.
The boss approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off."
"Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel like shit." | | | | 31 Views | 0 Thumbs Up | 0 Comments | |
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| | Insight into the female mind - Men should pay Attention !! | | | Thursday, June 5, 2008 (10:03 AM)
(I'm feeling enthralled) | | I very wise woman let me in on a few little secrets about the true meaning behind what women say to us:
1) FINE : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2) FIVE MINUTES : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3) NOTHING : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4) GO AHEAD : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5) LOUD SIGH : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6) THAT'S OKAY : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7) THANKS : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.
8) WHATEVER : Is a women's way of saying screw you!
9) DONT WORRY ABOUT IT, I'VE GOT IT : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3. | | | | 32 Views | 0 Thumbs Up | 0 Comments | |
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